Our Dating Scandal | Seulyong

Chapter 16

She always told herself that if she wanted something, she was going to work hard for it. But even if she worked hard she just couldn't get it. Was she really that talentless? Worthless, even? Was she just another woman that needed a man to become successful? She was so disappointed in herself, how come her life turned out to be like this? There was such a big taboo about these topics and she couldn't have gone to see a therapist even if she wished and wanted to, that would only cause more hate and people would be even more disappointed in her for "not accepting the beautiful gift of life and be grateful".

"You're still young, you should be happy and live life. Just put a smile on your face."

Why was it so hard for netizens to see that they were human too? Why was it so hard for the whole country to just realise that depression wasn't something to be taken lightly, that it was, is, and will always be a big topic that should be taken seriously.

"6..."

Seulgi stood on the tip of her toes, peeking above the few heads in front of until she saw him. The small smile came back to her face as she saw him goofing and laughing around with his members and other friends. This guy was unbelievable. Besides the hate from the dating scandal and the fear of having to disband, he was also the reason she relapsed that time. She could handle the small bickering they had throughout the years, but his harsh words that day really stuck in her head for days and made her double up the amount of cigarettes she smoked.

"You're only pretending to have some kind of depression because you want attention, right? Because no one gave you attention after all these years, no one noticed your talents and you were so desperate for attention, am I right?"

"5..."

However, even if he did hurt her. He was the one who helped her get back on track, as weird as that sounded. And she never ever thought she would have to admit to that.

"You're not one of the reasons to why I smoke. The thing you told me before did hurt me, but I think I've said a lot of hurtful things to you too," she told him and gripped harder onto the water bottle in her hands before continuing. "Don't worry about it, okay?"

Yeah, that was a total lie she had told him. She hoped by saying that he would stop "worrying" about her, she didn't want his attention and she didn't want him to care about her. She didn't want anything to do with him at all. But still, he continued to show that he cared for her, or maybe she was exaggerating, he probably didn't care about her. She still had Joohyun's words lingering around in her head as well. What if he just did it to help himself?

Whatever the reason was, he still continued to check up on her. If you thought about their relationship in the past, he had absolutely no good reason to do so, but he still asked her regularly if she had eaten and if she drank enough water. He made sure she didn't smoke and even bought gum specified for smoking addiction. He sent her snacks and told the netizens to stop hating on her knowing it could have affected his career negatively. He helped reducing the amount of hate she got, and because she got involved in a dating scandal with him, Red Velvet was still an active group.

"4..."

She felt her heart stop for a short second as her eyes locked with his. He smiled warmly at her and she smiled back at him before turning away, looking up at the black sky instead.

"I didn't want to admit that I had a fun time with him. It was great, actually, and I saw a whole other side of him that I've never seen before. I think I saw his true side, you know? But I didn't want to admit that I wanted to be his friend after that because I was so serious about not being it."