𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞

i wish

I never asked much
from anyone at all.
I held onto hope as it
came into my life
in great waves and
then pulled away again
as waves do.
I know everyone has
lives of their own
which conflict with my
own hardly ever,
yet I still wish to
be a part of them.
I wish someone would
pick me up from the messes
I've made for myself
instead of myself having
to always pick up the pieces.
I wish someone would hug me
for almost too long so that
I felt secure and like
everything wasn't falling apart.
and I believe that no one
realizes how downhill my
life is actually going.
I'm trying and I'm pulling
everyone else up, but no one seems
to notice that I'm falling down
dark staircases and I'm
crying behind doors of my mind
and putting everything back together
and trying to make the grade,
make the cut,
do the good things that I can,
but it's hard sometimes.
I want to quit,
I want to stop,
I want to sit down and cry.
But to what avail does this bring?
None.
I will have done a disservice to myself
and to everyone I know.
I just wish sometimes things were easier.
He would notice me,
I would talk to him for once,
I wouldn't be afraid of walking into
my classes and failing every exam they
give me.
I wouldn't be scared to mess up my music
or to flat on my face whenever I tried anything.
I wish sometimes I could just sit down and
just fly away,
far away.