I gripped the fuzzy hairs of my pajama pants as the tears streaming down from my face fell onto the back of my hand.
I clutched onto that piece of fabric as if I'd let go, my dear life wouldn't be spared.
I had no idea what was happening to me. The more I cried, the less I felt. I could slowly feel numbness start to take toll in my life. It had been just a few days after Tammy was brutally killed right in front of us.
I guess these past couple of days I've still been in shock. But the shock was ripped away from me and I simply just couldn't anymore. So I broke down.
So for the past 3 hours I've been sitting in the bathtub crying my eyes out. And also trying to figure out these feelings I get when I'm around Alex.
Wether it's when Tammy was brutally murdered in front of us, or when we found out Tod supposedly committed suicide. Those feeling just stuck around. Just another reason to believe I'm a fucked up person.
Suddenly, there was an extremely loud banging on my bedroom door. Yeah, I had my own bedroom.
Clear and I found that separate rooms was better since we were always fighting over who's stuff gets to go where. Plus she had like 4 extra bedrooms.
I just yelled come in, before quickly wiping my eyes and hopping out of the tub over to the sink so I could pretend I wasn't just sitting in a bath Tub crying because I may have a crush on someone who may also be responsible for both of my brothers deaths and my classmate.
"Kimberly, we need to talk." Clear said, sitting on my bed as she watched me pretend to wash my face.
"Maybe tomorrow. I was ab-" She cut me off by sighing.
"Kimberly, I heard you crying. I just didn't want to pressure you into telling me anything.." she said as I stood up from my hunched position over the sink.
"Thin walls." She chuckled, her face immediately falling back into her resting face.
I gently patted my face with the closest towel I found as Clear continued talking.
"The FBI came to pay a small visit to us earlier. You were sleeping in the bath tub, though. So I didn't want to wake you. But they're spying on us." She said, looking down at her fingers as I lead up against the wall.
"Why?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.
"To see if we're making any contact with Alex." She said, looking down at her lap.
"Still nothing from him?" I asked, I tried my best to act like him not responding to any of our calls in the last few days didn't worry me. But it did. Too much.
"No." She sighed, I stood up. She cared deeply for him, as do I. But she needed comfort. As do I.
"Hey, I'm sure he fine. Just traumatized. I mean, what sane person wouldn't be?" I asked, trying to lighten up the mood a bit.
She nodded, chuckling as she wiped her nose with her sleeve. After a comfortable silence had fell upon us, she looked up at me.
"But we need to do something." She said, her mouth slightly parted open.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "About what?" I asked, she glanced at her lap before looking at me.
"Everything."
~~~
Okay. Quarantine has just made me completely lazy. Like I was insanely lazy before but I've just reached my all time low. Plus I'm getting extremely fat. Lol. But I'm updating the sales team today so that's something to look forward to. Ok, I'm done for rn. Bye my gorls.
Sincerely, your weird author A.J (yes I'm a female)
