is that what we call happiness ?

10 years ago

"So," Namjoon started, looking nervous.

You were currently trying to teach your dog how to roll over. He wasn't that smart, but he was a good dog and you were convinced he'd manage to do it if you tried hard enough.

"Now roll ! Yes- No no not like that !" you whined as your dog did anything but what you asked for. You still loved him though. He was very cute.

"I came here to tell you something," Namjoon continued, wondering if he'd ever get your full attention.

"What's up with the nervous look ?" you asked with a chuckle after glancing at him. He forced a laugh but still looked like he was shitting himself.

"So basically-"

"Yeah, now roll like I showed ! Come on, roll over !"

"I have a girlfriend."

Your smile dropped just as your dog finally rolled over perfectly. For some reason, your heart felt weird. You didn't look at Namjoon and just scratched your dog, forcing a smile. Your voice probably sounded forced too.

"Good boy ! Yes, that's my good boy ! You did great baby, here's a reward just for you !"

You gave him his reward, feeling Namjoon's stare on your back. Once you judged you had praised your dog enough, you turned to face your best friend.

"That's great, Namjoon. Who is it ?"

He told you her name, and you noticed his eyes were sparkling. Your stomach felt weird too.

He then told you more about her, about the way her hair shined prettily when the sun hit it just right, about the way her smile made his heart beat a little faster, or about the way he liked to hold her hands when she was cold because then she'd be looking at him like he was all she ever needed.

You listened carefully, wanting to remember everything he told you, because that's what a best friend would do. Then you told him how happy you were for him, and that you hoped to meet her soon.

He looked happy, so you were happy.

"I'll ask her if she wants to hang out with us one of these days, alright ?" he asked as you followed him to your front door.

"Yeah, of course." You smiled, and he turned towards you before leaving.

"I'm sure you'll get along well. She's almost as great as you," he said with a little smile, pulling you in a hug. You hugged him back, feeling good in his embrace.

However, you suddenly felt sick in your stomach. You pulled away and ran to the bathroom, kneeling down in front of the toilets just in time to throw up. Namjoon entered the bathroom soon after and immediately kneeled down next to you, holding your hair back from your face while stroking your back.

"Are you sick ? Why didn't you tell me ? I would have put you in bed with a hot chocolate," he said worriedly while you threw up some more. "I knew you looked a bit weird, I should've known you weren't feeling good," he scolded himself quietly.

You eventually wiped your mouth with toilet paper before sitting on the cold bathroom floor, exhausted. And here you were, thinking you felt weird because of Namjoon. You were just sick. Not jealous.

He wiped your tears carefully, tying your hair messily just in case you'd throw up again.

"You can go Namjoon. I'm going to sleep for a bit I think, I'll be alright. And she's waiting for you."

He shook his head, holding your hand tight.

"I'm not leaving. I'll call her, she'll understand."

You let out a weak smile, wondering how exhausting throwing up could be that you were close to falling asleep when you were playing with your dog just a moment before.

Namjoon got up, helping you to get up as well before tucking you in bed, just as he said. He gave you a bin in case you felt sick again, and soon after, you were sleeping next to Namjoon in bed, a movie playing in the back while he glanced at you from time to time to make sure you were sleeping soundly.

And even if it wasn't just you and him anymore, you didn't feel scared. You knew it would always be you before anyone else, just like it would always be him before anyone else.