In The Dark

What did I do?

What did I do to deserve your stares?
What did I do to get all the hateful glares?
What did I do to deserve all this pain?
To be beaten down until I went insane.
I put my heart out on the table.
Cried all my tears out until I became unable.
Became so numb and closed off from the world.
Alone in my bed safe and furled.
Constant pain inside my head and in my heart.
From the inside out, its ripping me apart.
Have no one to turn to who will listen.
The tears on my cheeks shine and glisten.
What did I do to deserve this all?
To protect myself I built safety walls.
I put a cage around my heart and never let emotions show.
I knew I should've let this all go.
I should have cut off the people that made life hard.
I shouldn't have let it get this far.
I don't know why there is still good left inside.
Especially when my whole life all I did was hide.
I don't know why I still want to see the good in all.
That is my biggest downfall.
I have the biggest heart for the worst people.
No matter who tells me they are evil.
Why do I allow myself to be walked on like a mat?
I should allow myself to fight back.
But the voices tell me to go the other route.
To be better than them but theres still doubt.
Im battling so many things inside my head.
I don't know if I will change before I am dead.
I hope to find the strength in myself to rise.
To wipe the tears and be wise.
That day has come far too fast.
But no more of my life shall pass.
I will be the one to save me.
I will set myself free.
I won't question what I did.
Because I'm no longer a little kid.
I refuse to question myself any longer.
Now I am so much stronger.
Im not easily manipulated anymore.
Im not the same girl I was before.