Lose Control (The Jewel Project #5)

38.1|| Desert Walkers

"Huh. I thought Kyle getting drunk meant it was very bad," Tom said. Though thank God it wasn't. He was sick of bad.

But Kyle and Kay were obviously not. Because he could recognize the spark that used to be there, the tenderness in their poses. He wasn't sure why and how, but they were back to being happy and in love. The way they looked at each other proved it.

"Magic!" Angie said, waving her arms around.

"Communication," Jessie corrected her.

A knot lodged itself in Tom's throat and he looked away. Sure, communication. Talking. Figuring things out. Abandoning himself to full belief. He wanted to scream that it wasn't going to happen, but for the first time in his life, he kind of wanted it to.

A distraction fortunately presented itself in the form of Sam and Skye who wisely cut sightseeing short. It wasn't even noon yet, though it was getting dangerously close.

"Hi," Sam said, stopping next to his twin, his face all business. "I see everyone's up."

"Look!" Angie said, pointing at Kyle and Kay without even trying to be subtle.

Sam's face lit up in a smile, but he turned back to them, strangely not commenting on it. "Good, it means we can actually go. It's the luggage ready?"

"I think so," Jessie said. "I dropped mine at the reception. How'd it go at the museum?"

"Fabulous," Skye answered and Tom had to admit he had no idea if she was sarcastic or meant it.

"That place kicks ass. It's so full of history," Sam expanded, so much nerd in his voice, it was adorable.

"The only bad part is that when you see too much of similar things, they all start to look the same," Skye said with a sigh. "Which is probably exactly how we'll feel about the desert in the next few hours."

"I got a couple of Jeeps," Sam said. "They're specially equipped for the desert and I think it would be fastest."

"Though that camel salesman made a very compelling point," Skye said fairly.

Tom huffed and headed for the reception to pick up their luggage and load it in the cars. He'd always hated waiting, and the administrative crap before actually leaving on a mission was nerve racking. Loading rucksacks however made sense, because he could see progress.

"Hey." Angie joined him next to the car. "You okay?"

Not really, but he was doing his best. "I just want to get going already."

"Reverting to your impatient eighteen-year-old self?"

He didn't want to think about his eighteen-year-old self, because that guy was with Angie. So he just shrugged and started loading water pallets. Fresh water, not that crap the Agency gave them.

"Tom, what happened? You've been acting weird."

"Nothing happened." He fought with all his might not to add So leave me alone.

"Yes it did, you've changed dramatically since last night. What happened last night?"

We danced like we were in love again and I realized I really am. "Let's just drop it, Angie."

"Is this about me?"

It shouldn't be about her, but damn it, everything was. Just like it had always been since he met her. When they were together, he was okay, could properly focus on other things, because he always had an underlining sense of safety. When they were not, everything inevitably led back to her. And he hated this addiction, hated that Kyle was right and everything was his fault. His stupid control freak mind combined with his jealousy and his fear of abandonment had created a monster.