Playboy » L.S

Chapter 42

Louis' pov.

My hand automatically gripped Harry's tighter, causing him to wince slightly. I didn't care at the moment, though, because I was scared out of my damn mind. He promised to protect me and that's exactly what I need him for. I need him to guide me, to force me to face my fears and grow a pair.

It's been nearly two months since Harry and I got back together, but our relationship doesn't feel like it's back to normal. If anything, it's a million times better this time around. We aren't worried about what the other will think if we did something - unless it's Harry smoking pot again. I made it very clear that I hate that shit and if I ever caught him doing it again, I'd chop his balls off and mount them above the fireplace. Other than that, we're completely open with each other now. If I have another hallucinatory dream, I make sure to tell Harry, and he helps me through it. I'm still an irrational prick, and he's still a pain in the ass, but it works. It works and I like it.

I haven't been to Damien's club for almost six months ever since Harry left me. The most vivid memory I have of this place is Niall coming onto me, and Harry punching me, only to leave me knocked out and bloody seconds later. I don't like this place anymore, but I can't stand being alone almost every night when Harry, Damien, Cam, Zayn, and Liam all go to work. Damien thinks I'm being childish, but he wasn't there when all of the shit between Harry and I went down. Harry was, so that's why he's been supportive this entire time.

"You okay, babe?" Harry asks, stopping once we're a few yards from the entrance. I watch as men in tight clothing make their way past the bouncer and into the club, the music pouring out whenever the door is opened.

"Yeah, yeah.." I mutter, but when Harry tries taking another step, I quickly reach out and grab a hold of his shirt. "No, okay? I'm not fucking okay."

"Tell me what's wrong. How can I make it better?" He stands in front of me, blocking my view of the club so my focus is completely drawn to him. His large hands rest on the sides of my neck, his thumbs rubbing soft circles into my cheeks. 

"I don't know," I sigh heavily, pouting out my bottom lip. I feel like a pussy, and I feel absolutely helpless. "I'm scared."

"I know you are, baby, I know," He says quietly, leaning down to rest his forehead against mine. "But I'll be right beside you the entire time. It's just you and me, alright? Nobody else in there matters, and nothing bad will happen. We'll have fun."

"You promise?" I hate sounding so weak and little, my voice quiet and laced with uncertainty. Fear is an unavoidable thing, and it fucking sucks. I want to go in there and have the time of my life like I used to, but the haunting memory of what happened last time is holding me back.

"I promise. Now, hold onto me. I won't let you go," He smiles softly, pressing his lips lightly against mine.

"I love you, Harry," I mutter as he steps away from me.

"I love you, too," He grins, his dimple deeply indenting his right cheek. He takes my hand in his again, giving me a reassuring squeeze. As I stare at the lively club in front of us, I take a deep breath and begin walking towards it. I can do this, I recite in my head as each step progressively carries me closer and closer to our unavoidable destination.

"Louis!" The bouncer, Elias, greets the second his dark brown eyes land upon me. "My boy, it's been forever! If it wasn't for Harry reassuring me you were still alive, I'd think you were done for and buried in the ground."

"That's nice, thank you, Elias," I scoff. Harry elbows me not-so-subtly in the ribs, and when I try to glare daggers into his stupidly cute, curly headed face, he ignores me.

"Oh, I know he's just joking, Harry. No need to give the boy a hard time," Elias grins, showcasing his one missing tooth in the left side of the top row. "Alright now, Louis?"