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-warning-

suicidal thoughts

Yeosang

It's a Sunday night, not an uncommon one. I've been here way too many times. I'm surprised I haven't gone and jumped. Something always makes me stay.

I stare down to the water tears dripping down my cheeks. Should I just jump? Would it be easier to just give up? My thoughts get interrupted by my phone dinging that rings in my ears alongside the sound of falling rain. I dig out the device out of my jean pockets to see a message from Wooyoung.

Woo 💕
Yeosangie. I know you aren't feeling well. 
Are you sure you can come to work tomorrow?
You don't have to, just inform me.
Please reply as soon as you can. Please..

I stare at the screen as water droplets fall onto the bright screen. I squeeze the phone in my hand. "I'm sorry for making you worry about me..." I mumble to myself. I wipe my eyes and get off of the railing of the bridge. 

The Mapo Bridge. A place where many have attempted to end their life, some have succeeded. "Fuck my life." I let out of my mouth and kick the railing harshly. I'm too much of a coward to end this. I've stood there, on the edge, many times. Too many to count. 

I turn around and start walking away wiping my face and tears. I halt for a second and have the urge to turn around and go back to the edge. My mind is screaming at me to just end this bullshit. But I can't. As my phone dings again I look at it to see more messages from Wooyoungie. 

I turn my phone off and stuff it back into my pocket.  I'm surprised it has been able handle the rain and completely soaked clothes many times. 

I find myself in front of a cafe. I need something warm to drink and this place is one the only place open near Wooyoung's flower shop and a place where Woo picks up our coffees and teas sometimes. My home isn't far either then. I step inside brushing my wet hair backwards. A sigh escapes my lips as the warm air hits my slightly shivering body. There are no other customers. Good for me. 

I walk to the cashier and see a black haired boy napping on the counter there. I clear my throat and he quickly raises his head tiredly. In seconds he straightened himself as he realizes that I am a customer. "Hi. I'm sorry about that." He says and laughs gently. "It's OK. I get that it might get boring during a night shift." I say. He nods. "Anyhow.. Could I get a hot cocoa with whipped cream?" I pause for a second and look for his name tag. "..Seonghwa.." I say. The black haired boy nods and soon tells me the price. "Do you need a towel? You're soaking wet." He questions. "I'm good, but thanks for the offer." I say a bit bluntly and pay for my drink. "I'll bring the coca to your table."

I sit down at a table and not long after the guy brings me my drink. I thank him. "If I may ask. Why are you out at... 11pm in the rain?" The stranger asks. "I was just... Walking. I like the rain." I tell him. He nods. "I wish it'd stop for a while. It's been raining everyday for a week." He sighs. I shrug again and take a sip from my drink. 

"I'm Seonghwa, by the way." He introduces himself. I glance at him. "I saw it from your nametag.." I state blandly. "Oh yeah... What's your name?" He says smiling brightly. He's kinda obnoxious. I let out a sigh.

"I.. Why would you need to know that..?"

~~~~~

Here we are. I've got nothing to say really. This story is basically a sad thing to kinda express some of my own emotions at times.

Have a great day or evening, sweeties

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