Twenty-Five Letters

A Wake-Up Call

I could not believe the way Nehemiah made me feel. On this beautiful island, he created a love in me only David once awakened. It made me feel indifferent. Afraid and excited. The thought of finding someone to love again was the best thing anyone could hope for after tragedy. The more I thought of letting someone back in made me want to crawl into a hole. Nehemiah was there. He held me throughout the night and caught fish by day. He had been everything I hoped for in someone. A simple man.

"Tell me what is on your mind?"
"All of this seems unreal," I confessed.
"Are you happy?" Nehemiah asked.
"I am. I want you and this life forever."
"I am so glad to hear that baby. I think you should finish the letters."
"Why? This is what David wanted us to do."
"Yes, but I want you to be sure this is what you want. I can't replace a memory."
"I would not want you to. Why did you have to bring David in this?"
"Because if you haven't truly moved on he will always be the reason you won't allow me or anyone to love you again."
"I have allowed you to love me several times on this island."
"Yes, you have beautiful. I want to continue to keep doing so for as long as I live but I need you to fully let me in."

I was confused. He had gone further than any man since David. I was willing to love him right now. My heart began to sink into my stomach as tears formed into my eyes.

"What do you mean?"
"Read the letters, Ava."
"I don't want to read any more letters. I just want to be with you on this island."
"Look, Ava, I think we should head back in town," Nehemiah demanded.

Nehemiah loaded the boat with our things and grabbed my hand to jump aboard the bow of the boat. The long silence was filled by the crash of the waves beneath us and the chirp of seagulls in the sky. We did not have anything to say to each other. His mind raced with plans of loving me. My mind repeated over Nehemiah's
words. I could never let David go. He would always stay with me. All the wonderful memories we shared as we traveled together. A beautiful one in a lifetime love story.

The sun began to set over the dark blue sea as I chill swept over my body. My thoughts were toward my beloved David and not towards the beautiful memories I just shared with Nehemiah. His beautiful hazel eyes stared at me with a pregnant pause. I stared back at him with a smile. He placed a kiss on my forehead and then placed a kiss on my cheeks. He pulled my face closer to his lips as he kissed mine over and over again. His finger stroked the bottom of my chin as he fiddled with a curly loose strand of my hair. My body began to weaken at his nurtured touch.

"I wish your mind would react the same as your body does to my touch. Do you know how much I love you?" Nehemiah whispered into my ear.

Three little words had mesmerized me completely into a trance. It was undeniable I was irrecoverably in love with Nehemiah but I had to be honest with myself. I was not ready to fully give up David. We once shared a life.
Involuntarily my body shifted away from Nehemiah's eager soul. He finally smiled back at me and scooted back towards my direction.

He finally added, "I will wait for you even if it takes forever, Ava. There is only one woman for every man and you are that woman for me. I know David was your one a million love but I promise to show you one million reasons why I love you every day. Will you please understand my devoted loyalty to my friend and unconditional love for you?"
"David..." I whispered.
"Ava read his letters."

I kissed Nehemiah goodbye and heavily walked across the yard David and I once shared with friends over barbecues and bone fires. It was in the backyard when I got the phone call about our second miscarriage. This was our home. It was my home. I could not leave this place or share it with another man. I did not know what to do anymore. I wish David was here to help with my indecisiveness but he was here the decision would be made. It would always be David. I finally answered my own question to Nehemiah. I had to let David go. Tonight I would finish up the rest of his letters.