Twenty-Five Letters

Let's Go Fishing

Three months had passed since the last time I read any of David's letters. They became too hard to read his instructions. The more the seasons changed the more I began forgetting the letters underneath the stack of magazines. I knew they were under there but I tried so hard to leave them in the past. The last step of grief was acceptance. I had to accept David would never come home to me.
Nehemiah would stop by from time to time and fix broken window frames or mow the lawn. After the day he carried me up the stairs I stopped allowing him to come into the house. It was better. I watched him cut firewood in the middle of the winter as he fixed David's boat. Then Spring rolled around and he planted dandelions in the garden. Dandelions are my favorite flower. Finally, when Summer approached the popular hobby in South Carolina was going fishing. I choose my favorite green and white polka dot summer dress, my Chuck Taylor's, and a sun hat. Nehemiah tied a knot of rope around the dock and loaded the small boat with fishing poles and bait. I slowly walked beside him as the smell of his cologne grazed my nose.
"May I join you?" 
"Do you know how to fish?" He asked with curiosity.
"Not really. David and I never really got the chance to come out here."
"I'm glad to make a new memory with you."
"Wait, what does that mean?"
"I just know it's hard for you around the house. David and you shared this home."
"Does that bother you, Nehemiah?"
"No, get in."
I sat on the small bench in the middle of the boat and patted down my dress. Nehemiah grabbed my picnic basket and stored it in the boat. He sat next to me and started the engine. The small boat soared over the water with intensity as I held onto the edge. The water splashed underneath the boat as we traveled to the middle of the ocean. The sunset mimicked a fuzzy peach growing on a Georgia tree and the cool air smelled of saltwater as nearby boat passengers waved to us. It was the most perfect ending to a long day.
An isolated island appeared on the horizon as Nehemiah approached its deserted shores. He hopped off the edge of the boat and onto the white sand beach. His calloused fingers reached out for my nervous hand as they entwined with mine.
"Where are we Nehemiah?"
"Sailor's Love Beach."
"Is that really the name?"
"Yes, a sailor bought this piece of land for his wife back in the early 1900s."
"Seriously? I never knew this place existed. Is it a public beach?"
"No, it's private."
"Bad boy, huh? We could go to jail for trespassing."
"Were not trespassing. This beach belongs to my family."
Nehemiah took my hand and walked me towards the beach. I carried my tennis shoes across the warm sandy beach. I followed him to a tiki hut covered in lights. Inside the hut were a fully stocked bar and fresh groceries.
"Wow."
"A Sailor's Love is my favorite place."
"It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."
"Now, you know how I feel about you."
"Nehemiah..."
"I can't help myself sometimes. Are you hungry?"
"Yes, I am starving."
"The cod is perfect this time of the night."
"Okay." I skeptically responded.
Nehemiah jumped back onto the boat and cast the fishing pole into the shallow water. He stared at the still water as it began to ripple with fish swimming below. The fishing pole began to wobble and pull with the firm as Nehemiah grabbed the handle tightly. He planted his legs into the wooden floor as he moved around for balance. The boat began to slide at the ocean's version of tug of war.  He ended the fight with the scaly fish as it wiggled on the hook. It's big eyes helplessly stared at me as I admired Nehemiah casting another line. Onshore he skinned and cleaned each fish then he cooked them over a bonfire. I played with the sand between my toes as I overlooked the moon reflecting over the dark ocean. The cool wind made me wish I had warm arms wrapped around me.
Nehemiah began cutting up vegetables and placing them in a pot to boil. His olive skin was beautifully tanned after tonight's sail. His eyes concentrated on preparing the food and then back at me. After a couple of hours, he walked over towards me with two plates of fish marinated in lemon juice, vegetables, and roasted potatoes. My stomach growled at the simmering of the meat in front of me. We cleaned our plates to the sound of waves filling the beautiful empty silence. Nehemiah placed his empty plate on the ground and scooted next to me in the sand. He rubbed his fingers against my bare shoulder and up to my neck. My heart began to pound at another man's hands touching my body. He reached for my face and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. Without control, my body was now sitting in his lap. Nehemiah slid the bottom of my dress around my waist as he licked his index finger and placed it inside of me. His hungered mouth feast on each breast. Finally, he put himself inside of me as I felt my body ready to explode on top of him. I tightened around him over and over again as he gripped his strong hands around my waist. Our breaths intensified at the climax of intimacy. The sounds of the waves entwined with pleasurable moans lasted for hours. We ignored the rough sand creeping up our backsides as we made love three more times that night to the music of the seagulls playing over the sunrise. The sound of his chest rising beneath my sand-filled curls made feel as serene as the ocean itself. The waves moved closer to my polished pink toenails. My mind drifted to David. Suddenly, the guilt started to settle in the middle of my chest at the thought of cheating on David. He was not alive but it still felt so wrong. I shamefully put on my dress and reached down into the bottom of my picnic basket. The fourth sealed letter was tucked underneath a stale loaf of bread. I wiped off the bread crumbs from the envelope and scooted my body further away from the tiresome Nehemiah as I opened the letter.

LETTER FOUR
Dear Ava,
It's okay to let me go. I love you and want you to be happy. Be happy for me my love.
Yours Always,
David