Twenty-Five Letters

A Little Room

I never thought I could cry so much in my life after reading yesterday's letter. That was just like David to make me feel completely vulnerable. He was my anchor. The man I knew God placed on this Earth for me. I still had some of his clothes hanging in our closet. I rummaged through my top drawer. I pulled out a grey hoodie and sweatpants. It was my morning ritual if I ever ran again. Nothing these days motivated me to get out of the house.
I slowly walked down our spiral staircase and into the kitchen. I placed a carton of eggs onto the kitchen's island and emptied them into the frying pan hanging above the stove. Eggs were there only thing I could keep down anymore. I put the coffee pod into the Keurig as the aroma of dark roasted beans filled my nostrils. For a moment I thought I heard David looking for his boots in the spare room above me. Like old times. David chose this home because it reminded him of the nineties. Simplistic and chaotic. Our lives were lived in that order. He was wise in that way.
The scorching coffee touched my lips as I heard a engine come to a stop in the driveway. I peeked behind the window curtain and Nehemiah was approaching the door. This guy did not know how to call or send a text. It frustrated me but my mind went to ease as I past David's letter laying across the coffee table.
"He is a good man." David's words hovered in my mind.
I reached for the front door as I greeted him with a smile. He walked past me and I could smell his cologne lingering in the empty space. It had been a long time since I noticed the smell of man. It was a long time for other things too. Nehemiah placed the fresh baked donuts from the family-owned bakery down the street onto the kitchen table. He took his boots off at the door and walked towards the living the room. He definitely was different from my husband. David loved to talk. Nehemiah remained silent.
"Can I get you anything?"
I asked while sitting in the recliner chair.
"No ma'am, I am fine."
He interceded as he shifted in his seat.
"What brings you by today?"
"Did you finish reading all the letters?"
"All twenty-five? I can't read that fast Nehemiah."
He grinned.
Finally a smile. His dimples poking below his beautiful hazel eyes made it worth the wait. I could not believe I was even noticed these things.
"I finished the letters he gave me but there were only five in mine." He confessed.
"Oh, what did they say if you don't mind me asking?"
"Yes, I do. You need to read your letters." He instructed with his demanding southern accent.
"Did he tell you to stop by today?"
"Yes, he did."
"To do what?"
"He wanted me to sit with you but I could do other things around here. I  am pretty good with my hands." He humbly requested.
"There are millions of things to be fixed around here. You don't have to be here if you don't want to."
"I want to," he eagerly responded, "I mean Douglas ask me to be so I'll keep my word."
It was nice to have another man around with a code. It was one of the reasons I decided to never date again. It was too hard to find a man with morals and integrity. A simple man who just wanted to be love by his woman. I once had that exact love.
"Well," I added, "The fireplace hasn't been acting right since I used it last night. Maybe you could take a look?"
"Sounds good. Do you think I could pour me a cup of coffee?"
"Yes, sorry I didn't offer."
"No worries. It smells amazing."
"I would not know what I would do without my Keurig," I confessed.
He laughed to himself.
"What is so funny?"
"You know David hated that thing?"
I chuckled in agreement, "I know. He loved the old school coffee maker. A man of a great habit."
"A good man." He whispered.
"The best."
We both stared at each other with warm cups of joe in our hands. The silence was filled with thoughts of David.
"I will go look at the fireplace. You should read more letters."
I nodded and walked over to David's chair. I placed my coffee onto our wedding date engraved coaster. I flicked through the letters thinking of how his hands felt placed on them. I wanted to skip to the very last one but I knew David would be furious. The loud sounds echoed through house as Nehemiah cleaned the fireplace. I snuggled into the back of the chair and grabbed the second letter from the pile.
"Okay, he we go," I told my stomach.