Pain

50

"Ashley" screams Caroline as she runs up to me. I embrace her in a hug, my body flinching from the beatings of last night. This time it was because he couldn't find his socks and somehow it was my fault that he was getting late to work. "I've missed you so much. It feels like forever" she says pulling back.

"Actually.. It's only been about four months. That's not long."

"It is one month more than three months so technically it has been that long." She passes me and makes her way towards the living room. "Where is that idiotic cousin of mine?" She takes a seat and looks around.

"Work" I say casually as I went into the kitchen, making her something to eat and drink.

"Oh alright, so how are things going out with you two?" I place some snacks in a bowl and pour her a drink. Taking the tray to her, I look up and give her the most fake smile I have.

"We are great" I say sitting across her.

"Well I miss you a lot. My new roommate is super annoying. She always wants to go the club and party hard. It is okay to go once in a while, but that girl literally goes every day. It is really difficult on some days where I just want to sleep in or have exams and need to study. I honestly do not know how she's going to pass college or how I'm going to pass with her trying ruining me." I couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm glad I don't have to go through with that" I say, taking some chips and eating it.

"Yeah you are lucky. Why don't you join back?" Yeah right. Like Christopher would let me.

"I would love to, but I honestly don't have the time." A wave of nausea surges through me. "Hold that thought" I say blocking my mouth with my hand as I run for the bathroom. Bending down to the toilet, I empty out all my meals of the day, my head feeling light headed. I steady myself with the support of the walls as two hands starts patting my back. I flush and start rinsing my mouth.

"Umm Ashley" Caroline says hesitantly. "Is there any way you are... well... you know...." I knew what she was going to say even before she said it. I don't need confirmation. I already knew I was pregnant. I have been feeling a little hungry the past week and vomiting right now confirmed my doubts. "...pregnant?" she says finally. I shrug and continue to rinse out my mouth. "Okay, well... Hold on" she says leaving to the hall. I follow behind her as she digs through her purse taking a packet out. "It's a pregnancy strip. Why don't you check?" She says handing it to me.

"But why do you have a pregnancy strip?" I questioned her.

"My room mate filled my purse with all sorts of junk, so don't ask. Just gooo" she says pushing my back to the bathroom.

5 minutes later.

"I'm pregnant" I say to her. She starts jumping up and down, clapping her hands and screaming in excitement.

"Oh my God, oh my God, I'm gonna be an aunt. I'm gonna be an aunt. This is so exciting. Oh my god. This is so exciting. I'm so happy for you. Ahh how many months are you? And what are you going to name the baby? And is it a boy or girl? Gosh I'm crazy. You just found out, how can you know the gender, but if you do, then tell me. Ahh I'm so happy for you" she says without taking a breath and gives me a bear hug. "Thank you for making me an aunt." I give her a smile as her phone starts ringing. "Hello" she says into it. After a few 'mmhmm' and 'yeah' she kept the phone and looked at me apologetically. "I am so sorry, I have to go. Something came up. Emergency" she says heading for the door. I nod in understanding. She gives me one more hug before she leaves. "Congratulations and I'm naming the baby" she screams walking outside. I close the door and go into the room, looking at the full length mirror.

I place my hand over my stomach and my eyes welled up. "I am so sorry baby. I am so sorry for bringing you in this mess. I don't know how I am going to manage with you. Please forgive me" I say out loud. I immediately turn on my laptop and search for an abortion clinic nearby. There was no way I would let this baby come to this world. My suffering is enough. I can't risk another life. I am so sorry baby.

I print out the address of a nearby clinic and change into something clean and comfortable. I open the door to go outside and find my myself at eye point with Christopher.