Pain

35

Ashley's POV

I go to my dorm room right after work. It had been easy working in the café despite the lunch time rush and weird customers, but thing have been very awkward with me and Morgan, the café owner.

"Good Morning" she says as I make my way to the café early morning since I had no classes for the day.

"Morning" I say back lazily. I felt something different immediately as I walked to her. She had been wearing a some clean clothes, where other days she would be covered in almost anything and everything from chocolates to flour to sugar, cocoa, and even drenched in water. I look over at her chest, the usual part that is covered with chocolates and see it empty and clean. A smile makes its way upon my lips and I look at her eyes. She has done make up and inside her apron she wore a black lace dress.

"Going anywhere?" I ask her winking. She blushed at my question.

"Well... My boyfriend, Steve, is taking me out to this newly opened restaurant downtown. What was that name again?" she asks herself. I slip on my apron and start placing the cupcakes in the glass shelf. "Oh yeah, Moonlight Cabin Restaurant." I freeze at that name. That had been the first place Jake took me, the day I got my first kiss. "Is everything ok?" She asks placing a hand on my shoulder.

I nod my head up and down, looking at anything but her. I will not show my weakness. "Have fun" I say trying sound normal, but the crack in my voice gave it away. "Excuse me" I say excusing myself, walking outside for a fresh of breath air.

Why are you haunting me Jake? You are everywhere I go. I don't want to forget you and I know that I never will, but I want to move on Jake. I want to be happy. I want to smile, not just with my lips. I want my smile to actually reach me eyes.

I made my way back in, not saying a another word to Morgan for the rest of the day. I feel so weak, and me shedding tears around others made me look even more vulnerable than I am. But I am strong- I want to be strong. Morgan left a few hours later when Steve showed up with a bunch of flower bouquets, sweeping her off her feet, literally.

He said that she would be caught up at work if she didn't leave now. Morgan kept asking him to wait for 5 more minutes until she sent off a customer, and one customer became two and two became four. When I went back to the counter, I found Steve carrying her bridal style with her protesting and earning awww's among the crowded café. She screamed to me to lock up before I leave while carrying her roses, going to the car in the arms of the man she loves. How I wished to be her...

I take out my room key and find a parcel waiting at the door. I pick it up and start examining it.

'To: Ashley"

For me? I take the parcel to the room and leave it on the bed while I hop in the shower. One thing that I have to compliment is that the rooms came with an attached bathroom, compared to other colleges where you have to share a bathroom with the entire floor or something.

The bathroom wasn't so big and luxurious like your average home bathrooms. It was probably the size of a moderately sized closet. It had enough space to move around without being cramped up. It had a stand in shower, a toilet seat and a sink which was more than enough. Of course I would have preferred a bath tub for the lazy days and a cupboard of some sort to store in the toiletries, but I'm not complaining.

After being washed in chocolate and flour at the café, a shower seemed like heaven. The café had been famous for their amazing chocolate cupcakes, thus the reason for all the chocolate and flour mayhem. Somehow the workers, being Morgan and myself, are forever cursed that we cannot go an entire day without ruining our attire. And then there were these kids who drove me nuts. It took every last patience of me to not kick their asses literally and throw them out of the café.

I don't exactly hate kids, if I had kids I would love them with my life and more. It's just that I hate, absolutely hate kids who are naughty and won't behave. I have already decided that I will never raise my children carelessly, no matter how much the numbers grow.

After the shower relaxing my tensed muscles, I dry myself coming out in only a towel. I sometime used to wonder how it would be, walking out in a towel and then there is someone standing in your room. How awkward it must be. But then this is real life, not some sort of fairytale cliché and there was no one sitting in my room.

I get dressed and fall on my bed, completely worn out. My hand knocks over the parcel, which I somehow seemed to forget. I open it with my curiosity increasing by the minute.

It had a note written in it. I kept that aside to read later and opened the box which was inside. It was a keychain. It was half a heart in red colour. I turn it around and it had my name engraved in it. Ashley. I smile at the thought of this gift.

It symbolised giving half their heart to me. The smile that appeared on my lips soon washed away when I knew the meaning of this gift.

"Only Jake forever has my heart" I say out loud. I take the note in my hand and read it.

"I give this half to you,
But can you tell who hold the other true?
The Angel Makes you look so pure,
A pain I happily endure.
Looking but no touching ,
Is the Rule I Go By
Oh! My little angel for now buh-bye!

Love,
Your secret admirer xoxo"

More than curiously, anger bubbled inside me. Who was this person? Who did he think he was? A secret admirer my ass. Now all I felt was stalked. How did he know about my necklace? Or was that just a co-incidence? Shaking all thoughts away from my head I keep the keychain and note in the drawer. I don't need any distraction. I had decided to live, not to love, for I always will love Jake and Jake alone.