Pain

Chapter 11

Have you read the book "No Happy Endings?" It's by TheDreamer__ If you haven't, then you're missing out on a great funny book. Go and check it out. ❤️

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"I've given myself a makeover. Do you like it?" I asked batting my eyelashes and twirled for him.

Jake sat on my bed, wearing a black button up shirt and looking worn out.

"What's the need to do that now? You were perfect the way you were," he said standing up.

"Jake, why? Don't you think it looks good?"

"I think it looks horrible," he shouted at my face. Tears threatened to roll out but I swallowed it back in, although I can feel my lips pouting and my eyes welling up.

"Why... Why would you say that?" I asked. My voice broke and turned into a sob, betraying me.

"Ashley, Ash I'm so sorry," he said cupping my face. "I didn't mean it like that."

"You didn't mean it like what Jake? You said I look horrible. What other meaning could there be?" I asked angrily.

He sighed loud and sat on my bed. He looked at me, waiting for me to join him. Although he didn't ask, I knew his words through his eyes. Was that normal?

"How did the college tour go?" I asked not wanting to talk about this more. He placed his hands on his head, resting his elbows on his knees and sighed again seeming completely defeated.

"It was horrible Ash. They conducted interviews for the entrance in several colleges I visited, but.... they rejected it on the spot after seeing my grades. I really need to go into Law School. My parents can pay whatever, but it's my job to enter the college."

"I don't understand. Your grades are good, not as great as mine, but they are good nevertheless."

"That's the problem Ash. They are only good, but not good enough for Law school. They told me some colleges back in New York would accept me, not for my academic skills, but for my money. That's not how I wanna go. I need to deserve it. You get what I mean?"

"You feel as if you need to prove yourself, and you don't want a place through money, but through your talents?" I asked trying to understand. He nodded in agreement. "Why don't you apply to some colleges in Washington? I'm sure they will accept."

"Ash, California is my dream. I can't just give that up. Not for anything."

"But... Washington was my dream. I would give that up to be with you in California in a heartbeat."

"That's different Ashley," he said, completely uninterested.

"How so?" I asked raising my voice, extremely offended.

"It just is Ash. Can you drop the topic now," he demanded pissed off.

"Jake, how is this fair? You obviously care more about California than me. Am I not worth your sacrifice?" I don't want nor will I ever make Jake stay here. But this was for conversation purposes only. California was his dream; I will never take that away from him, but I couldn't help but wonder whether he was willing to sacrifice it for me. Did he love me as he claimed to have?

"No, you're not okay? California is everything. I said I'll marry you. What more do you want?" he shouted at me. As the words left his mouth, realisation hit him hard of what he had said. "Ash..."

"I want you to leave." Tears streamed down my cheeks. I no longer had the will power to keep it back in.

"Ash," he started again, attempting to apologise.

"You asked me what I want. I want you to leave. Now." Without another word he left for the door and I heard his car start several seconds later before the engine turned up and he drove away.

I sat on my bed and there was only one thought that came to my head.

I've lost my best friend.

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