Sugar • Hiram Lodge

Down and Dirty

If he's a serial killer then what's the worst

That could happen to a girl who's already hurt?

   The number of murders within Riverdale had increased overnight. The serial killer who had been labeled as the Black Hood was on a rampage, killing those who had sinned. Everyone was on edge, even Mira who had gone home that night and tried to apologize to Hiram over the phone after she'd realized he wasn't the killer. However, despite her apology, he was still salty. So, she had plans to go make it up to him after school. She just had to sit through Jughead's survival lecture first.

   "Based on my knowledge of all the Scream movies, there are three rules you must follow in order to avoid being murdered by the killer," Jughead said, spinning the whiteboard around to face the group of high schoolers before him. Pulling a pointer stick out from behind his back, he slammed it against the board. "Rule number one: no sex!"

   Mira, Veronica, Archie, Betty, Cheryl and Tony all rolled their eyes. Basically everyone except for Ethel rolled their eyes because, well, let's be honest here. 

   "Well, it looks like we're all dead," Cheryl said. 

   "Only virgins survive horror movies," Jughead said. "White virgins."

   "My mom's one forth Brazilian. Do I still count as white?" Betty asked.

   "Good question," Jughead nodded. "What do you season your chicken with?"

   "Oh, salt and pepper."

   "Yeah, you're still white."

   "Excuse me?" Valerie interjected. "Have you not seen Get Out?"

   "Anyways, rule number two: no drugs or alcohol!"

   "Again, it looks like we're all dead," Cheryl rolled her eyes.

   "Finally, rule number three: never, under no circumstances is anyone to say I'll be right back."

   Everyone looked at each other, simultaneously coming up with the same idea. "I'll be right back," they said before getting up and walking out of the room. 

   On her way to her car, Mira pulled her phone out to see if Hiram had returned any of her calls. Sadly, he hadn't. She huffed in anger and kept walking, annoyed that he was still upset. Yes, she had basically accused him of being a murderer, but she had missed out on a perfectly good opportunity to sleep with him, which was just as bad.