Mental

Chapter 9- Everyone needs someone

"Madeline, wake up." I groaned and pushed Harry's finger away from my cheek. "We have to leave in a half hour for school." He told me as I slowly sat up. "How do you feel this morning? Are you alright now?" His soft voice held a bit of sympathy to it. 

"Yeah, I'm good." I smiled, wiping my eyes. "Where's the bathroom?" He pointed to a door that I thought was a closet but I guess I thought wrong.

I got up and my legs were aching and my knees creaked the whole walk to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and my cheeks were all red and rosy like they always were in the morning. My hair was a tangled mess, as expected. But I didn't look like I normally did, I looked... transparent. I felt as though I wasn't there, like I was just a figment in this mirror that didn't actually exist. 

I rinsed my face with cold water and used my finger to brush my teeth with the nastiest tooth paste I've ever tasted. "I had Francene wash your clothes this morning so you could rewear them and not feel gross." Harry told me, handing me the pile of clothes.

"What time did you get up?" I asked looking down at the warm pile of clothes.

"Uh like 6, c'mon get changed. We have to go." He ushered me into the bathroom and I changed quickly, throwing the clothes I slept in, into the laundry basket. I braided my hair to the side and tried to make it look like I wasn't dying.

"Ready." I walked out of the bathroom and Harry had just finished slipping his shoes on. 

"Let's go, it's pouring out. I want to park close so you don't get soaked." He said grabbing a pack of cigarettes out of the top drawer. "I mean, I don't want to get wet either. C'mon."

Francene had wrapped up two bagels for us and sent us out running to the car. "She seems so nice." I said to Harry as we pulled out of the driveway. I sat there, a weird feeling taking over my body. I feel like I was wasting away. I feel like I'm not real. I had experienced something like this at Long Branch. I'm trying to remember the name.... dissociation. I was dissociating from my surroundings. I felt disconnected. 

"She's wonderful. Don't know how I'd survive without her." He reached over and put the heat all the way up to the highest notch. Between the rain and the incoming winter I was just about ready to break out my heavy coats. I hated the cold. 

The ride to school was quiet but not awkward. I focused mainly on not having an anxiety attack. I can't freak out in front of him twice.

When we pulled into the parking lot the rain didn't ease up, if anything it only fell harder. "Give me your bagel, I'll put it in my bag so it doesn't get gross and soggy." I reached for his bagel and put it in my bag as he searched in the back for an umbrella. 

"I thought I had one in here. Fuck. Oh well." He shrugged turning off the car. "We're really early, earlier than I thought we'd be. Oops." He laughed grabbing his notebook from the back seat. 

I shrugged and he stepped out of the car and I followed, pulling my hood up although it did close to nothing. As we were walking toward the school, Harry took the notebook from over his head and put it over mine, the patter of the rain against the cover loud enough to block out my thoughts.

"You're soaked." I gasped once we were inside the front entrance. He just shrugged, shagging out his hair. "I had a hood, you shouldn't have put the notebook over me."

"You looked cold, plus I don't mind a little rain." We walked inside and sat down in the empty hallway in front of our lockers. I looked up at the windows lining the top of the wall near the ceiling. The storm outside growing and growing, darker and darker. "Can I have my bagel?"

"Oh ya, sorry." i smiled reaching into my bag and handing it to him. We sat legs crossed, across from each other, our knees brushing slightly. The halls started to slowly fill up over the next half hour. The sound of squeaky shoes and dripping umbrellas louder than the silent uneasy chatter. "It's so quiet this morning."