Issues // H.S. // A.U.

Chapter Twenty

I thought I was being a good boyfriend to Dani, too, which only increased my fears on bad nights. Dani... Dani deserved the absolute best, and I wasn't sure if that was me. I wasn't sure that was anyone, honestly. She was this perfect being to me, and at times I felt so inadequate.

I was selfish, though, knowing I would hold on to the bitter end like Jack did on that stupid door Rose was floating on.

That was not a good analogy. I don't need to think about either of us dying from hypothermia.

I held her closer to my body, relishing in the warmth she provided me. Her leg moved a little, foot sliding up my leg and back down in a soothing manner. Even in her sleep she was calming my senses.

It was actually astounding how she did that, and I prayed that I did the same.

Deciding it was time to go to sleep, I reached over and turned my bedside light off, checking to see if I had any notifications on my phone, before I closed my eyes. I fell asleep quickly, her body soothing me and my thoughts.

She must've been extra tired, because by the time I woke up, she was still soundly asleep. I untangled from her limbs, and watched as she moved her hand and fisted my sheet where I used to lay. My heart beat raced just by watching her subconsciously reaching out for me.

I got up to pee and brush my teeth, Dani didn't have class until later in the day, and the one I had in an hour wasn't mandatory. Whenever she stayed the night, I always skipped it so I could spend more time with her.

Walking back inside my room, I gathered my laptop and a book, sitting back down on my bed, and started to work on my research paper. About an hour in, I hear her mumble, "What time is it?"

Looking down, I see her squinting her eyes up at me, a smile forming on my face. I check the time, telling her, "Fifteen to ten."

"How long have you been up?" She asks me through a yawn.

"A little over an hour." I say quietly, "You still have plenty of time before your class, if you want to keep sleeping."

She turns on her back, arm flung over her eyes, humming to a response, "Maybe."

I snicker, returning to my essay, finishing the paragraph I was writing. I stack my schoolwork on my nightstand, scooting over and lying on top of Dani. My head rests on her chest, while my arm is flung around her waist. It was our exact position from last night except reversed.

"You're comfy." I mutter.

Feeling her fingers comb through my hair, she says, "I was reading one of your journals yesterday during my class."

"Shouldn't you be paying attention?" I tease her, smiling at the thought of her reading my inner most thoughts. I couldn't believe how comfortable I was with her seeing those songs and poems. Most weren't even good, written years ago or never finished, but she never failed to tell me how much she loved them.

"Can't help it if I find you more interesting." She says with no hesitation.

I feel warm, eyes closed just basking in her presence, "Anything good?"

"Mhm," She starts, twisting and twirling at my hair, "there was a few, but I got stuck on one in particular."

"Oh, yeah? Which one?" I ask, trying to remember which of my journals she was on.

"A poem, I think... You titled it She."

I lift my head, resting it in my hand propped up by my elbow, "What did you think?"

"I can't get it out of my head." She admits, now looking more awake, her hazel eyes in-between a golden amber and green color.

Of course she would pick that one. I had written it about a year and a half ago, when I had been feeling a little low after a few monotonous hookups. Based on a woman that clouded my mind, walked through my dreams and desires, but always felt too out of reach.