Doctor Who ~ Thasmin oneshots

Talking can help

"Yaz, can I talk to you?" The doctor asked. Yaz jolted slightly, not having realised she wasn't alone in the room. She'd been sat staring for what felt like hours, she had no idea when her friend had come in. The doctor rubbed her arm awkwardly, knowing full well she'd been stood in the doorway for a very long time before deciding to speak up, just watching Yaz. "Um, yeah sure." Yaz said, offering a small smile.

The doctor bit her lip, shifting on her feet and darting her eyes around the room uncontrollably as if she was looking for something. She wasn't- or, she was looking for words. Yaz lowered an eyebrow, turning her whole body to face the blonde in the doorway with a confused expression. "Everything alright doctor?" She asked, only earning a little nod from the doctor. She patted the spot next to her on the sofa, and after a moment of hesitation the doctor walked over and sat down.

She was holding herself, almost in a hug but for one person. She was biting and licking her lips, her eyes on everything but Yaz. She looked incredibly nervous, and her friend couldn't work out what had her so wound up. She put a hand on her arm, rubbing her with her thumb softly to offer some kind of reassurance. The doctor smiled, but it was half hearted and weak. She had something to say, and Yaz had a feeling it was going to be a hard conversation. "What did you wanna talk to me about?" She asked, being more curious than ever but regretting it as the doctor visibly tensed.

In all honesty, the doctor wasn't nervous for what she was going to say- she was awkward. She still hadn't gotten over her socially awkward stage in this new body, why it was taking so long she didn't know, but it made talking about hard topics incredibly difficult. She wanted to talk to Yaz about her dream, what she'd seen. Yaz had opened up to the fam before briefly, but ever since they'd all had their minds and nightmares violated by two pain driven gods, she'd been a little quiet and reserved.

The doctor knew all about suffering in silence, she'd been doing it for years, so she knew a thing or two about breaking facades. When suddenly everything becomes too much, and you can't ware a mask anymore. Yaz was sad, and she couldn't help think all this might have something to do with it. She just had to find a way to approach the subject- normally. She cared about Yaz, a lot, and she didn't want her to bottle things up like she herself had done for a very long time.

"Come on, spit it out." Yaz giggled, genuinely making the doctor grin for a moment before she was thrusted back into the situation again. She took a deep breath, and thought her words out very carefully. "So, the thing that happened-" great start, absolutely fantastic. Yaz looked lost, but nodded. "I just wanted to check that you- that you were alright?" She forced the words out, looking over at her friend as if to ask if she'd done it right. Yaz's face looked taken aback, like she'd seen a ghost. She looked away, then down at her hands.

"Yeah, yeah no I'm fine." She said, but in no way reassuringly. The doctor lowered her eyebrows in disappoint, annoyed that she'd known Yaz for as long as she had and not detected any sort of emotional baggage. "Are you though?" She blurted out, resisting the want to cover her mouth to stop anything else spilling out. The long sigh she got in return was all the answer she needed. There was a long silence, an awkward one that hung in the air waiting for someone to say something.

The doctor glanced down at Yaz's hand, wanting so badly to hold it and tell her everything was going to be okay, but she couldn't. That would be weird- they weren't together. That wasn't her job. "A few years ago, when I was in school, I was always picked on. Kids would take the micky out of anything they could find, my clothes, my hair, my skin, my face- everything. My grades got worse, my parents got angry, everything sucked. So one day, I packed my things and I left." Yaz stopped mid sentence, seeming to be deep in thought.

"My sister called the police, she didn't know where I was or what I was doing, she was worried I was going to do something stupid- get myself hurt. Someone came and found me, I was in the middle of nowhere by myself. Just me and my thoughts. It wasn't a nice way to be, but I just wanted everything to be okay- I wanted to be happy again." She clenched her eyes, and all the doctor could do was watch helplessly as her friend broke down beside her. "What that woman said to me that day saved me, whether I knew it then or not. She dragged me out of that hole of complete isolation." She sighed, leaning back on the sofa.

"Maybe that's why I wanted so badly to be a police officer, so I could help people the way she helped me." She smiled, reminiscing about that woman. She truly owed her life to her- she always wondered if she realised that. The doctor looked at Yaz, true guilt strumming her insides. She'd been moping around the Tardis for weeks after the Master, wallowing in her own self pity and lashing out whenever anyone would attempt to help her- when in reality Yaz had been fighting similar battles for years. She felt just as sad, and had to put up with her miserable self all whilst.

"I'm really sorry- that you felt that way. I had no idea." She said, gaining enough courage to place a hand in Yaz's. She squeezed it back, leaning her head on the doctors shoulder. "It's okay, it was a while ago, I'm better now. I guess just seeing it again, how it could've gone- made me realise how alone I really felt." She shut her eyes, blocking out the images of the road she sat next to on the grass, her bag next to her. "I know how you feel." The doctor offered, laying her head on top of Yaz's. "I know how it feels to be alone. It's not nice."

Yaz hummed in response. They sat like that for a while, neither one of them wanting to ruin the silence. "What about you, are you okay?" Yaz asked. It was an innocent question, but the doctor felt like a million tones of weight came crashing down on her. She gulped, unable to form words as her own memories came flooding back like a dam in her mind had sprung a leak. She couldn't focus properly, she could see flames and buildings collapsing one by one, her home falling to pieces as she could only stand and watch and cry; all whilst the Masters voice called her weak over and over.

She whimpered softly, Yaz sitting up and pressing her forehead to her cheek. She wanted to open up, since Yaz had just done the same, but she didn't feel strong enough yet. She wasn't ready. As if their thoughts were connected, Yaz handed her a glass of water and ran her hand through her hair. "Don't worry, you don't have to talk if you're not ready. But remember I'll be here when you are." The doctor swallowed, the awkward feeling filling her gut like a buffet. She nodded, smiling weakly as if to say 'okay'.

Yaz intertwined their fingers slowly, euphoria filling them both. They knew they had each other, and even if the doctor still had to overcome her social awkwardness, they could always talk. The fam had each other's backs, and talking is just a little step to making a huge problem seem a hell of a lot smaller.

Oh, hi! I've stuck to not being super talkative in this book so u can all get on with reading rather than listen to me ramble about my opinions, but the episode this is based off warrants a bit of talking about. If u couldn't tell, the ep 'can you hear me?' Hit me in the feels. I didn't really know what the episode was going to be about, and I was really happy with the way they presented the theme of talking about our problems. As someone who has struggled with mental health, me a few years ago would've really appreciated this episode.

Of course it came with it's flaws, the whole last scene with Graham and the doctor wasn't very well handled and was a bad time to play something off for comedic effect. I won't ramble, but I hope u all enjoyed this chapter- and thank u for the support this book has been getting!