Chapter 30

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        I felt my breath go heavy. I looked up at the mirror for the last time. I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked out of the room, hurrying away from Matthew. I didn’t need his pity. But he was right there, standing right outside of the door frame. He was wearing a new tank top, which was white with Obey spelled out in black, and tan khakis, matching perfectly with white Vans. I looked away, I didn’t even want him to see my face anymore.

        “What’s wrong? It’ll go away. Hey, look at me. You’re still your beautiful self, just with a battle scar. It’s okay. You’re okay.” He whispered with an even voice, as he cupped my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him.

        “It’s going to be alright, I will never let him hurt you again. You understand that? No one will lay a hand on you as long as I am with you.” His face turned to stone. He was serious, and I knew it even without looking at him. His voice was always affected heavily when his mood changed. I swallowed and gave him the best smile I could muster up.

        “Now, you aren’t convincing me with that. I know it’s just for show. You don’t have to put a smile on your face for me. I see right through you, always have.” Matthew lowered his hands to my back, and pulled me to him. I felt the always present lump in my throat decrease in size. Finally, someone saw I was hurting.

        Someone knew I was hurting, and they knew I was putting on a show. I cried out of relief. I was never one to call attention to myself, so I never said much to anyone. I barely talked anymore these days. I didn’t want pity. I didn’t want people to feel bad for me. I was praying for someone to see through it, and here was my prayer.

        My arms tightened around his neck and he lifted me off the ground in a fierce embrace. I smiled, and let go slowly. I wiped my tears away, and nodded a thank you to him.

        “Now, let’s go get some food, because I’m starving. I took a shower in the other bathroom already, so I’m clean.” He chuckled and grabbed my hand gently, pulling me to the door. I held up my hand and walked to the bedroom, grabbing the pair of white flip flops, and we were out the door, not even caring about how my hair would look after the hot air hit it. I didn’t care. I was hungry, I had not ate in about two days because of my messed up sleeping schedule, and the fact that I haven’t been to the apartment in so long.

        We were walking along some beach, the same one, I think, from last night. We had just ate at some pizza place, and damn it was good. We were walking together silently when I heard the girls screaming again. How lovely.

        I groaned and looked over to see a guy walking out of the water slowly, with a dozen girls trailing behind him, taking pictures of him. He did look pretty nice, all except for his face. It was severely bruised, and there were some gashes along his jaw line. I could see all of this, from a good distance away. I would hate to see it up close.

         I felt my hand jump to my eye, before back down to my side. I felt Matthew’s eyes on me and I gave him a small nod. I relaxed and kept walking with him.

        “Hey, I know what we should do! We should have a beach day. I know you don’t want to be in public that much, but it’ll be fun and help you relax. I can ask the Jacks if they want to come, that’ll make it better right?” He asked excitedly. I didn’t feel like going out at all, or even showing off my body, but I missed the Jacks and I needed to work on my tan.

        “Swimsuit.” I whispered to him, and he nodded.

        “Alright! Let’s go get one. This will all be fun, okay?” He smiled and pulled me towards some surf shop along the beach. I didn’t have any money, but he wouldn’t let me pay anyway. I shook it off.

        “Okay, I’m paying, so choose anything you like. Then try it on and show me if you want to.” Matthew was looking around the store, examining the racks. I knew he would have to approve of it, because he was the one who had to see it all day long. I looked through rack after rack, finally finding something worth wearing. A light blue strapless top with short fringe, and a plain black bottom. I hadn’t worn, or even owned a swimsuit since last summer. I had no idea how I would even look in it. I felt my nerves take over. How was I supposed to pull something off like this? I sighed and got into a dressing room, and quickly changed. I opened the curtain quietly, and stepped out.

         Matthew’s back was to me, at a nearby rack. I tapped on his shoulder and he turned around quickly. “Find something? Oh that’s, yeah um, yeah I like that, um let’s get it.”

        His eyes danced across my body, not seeming to land on one single spot. I smiled and turned to see it in a mirror. No wonder he looked so happy. It was great! I look good, it fit my body well, and made me look surprisingly very cute. I sighed and walked back to the small room, and changed out of my new piece of clothing.

        “Woah.” I heard Matthew say a few seconds later. What a dork. I got changed and came out, holding the bikini. We payed for it and walked out of the store. I felt the sun hit my face, and I had a feeling that today might actually be a good day. 

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