Unexpected // sm

Chapter 56

Shawn's POV

       The plane ride went quicker than I expected, actually. Well I fell asleep, so that's probably why. Damn it was cold. I missed L.A. so much, and if I didn't want to be with Kenna as much as I do, I'd still be out there. This girl had me in the palm of her hands. My bag seemed much heavier when I didn't have her next to me, and I barely made it to my apartment before checking my phone to see anything from her. Nothing. Maybe she was still asleep. 

        I had a lot of work to do. That's for sure. I forgot how much of a mess I had left my apartment in. Holy shit. There were clothes, empty water bottles, magazines, various bags of chips, and several unknown objects littering the entire apartment floor. I did my best to clean it , knowing I would just trash it again within the next couple days. I was a natural slob. I trudged through to my room, kicking a clear path. My room itself was clean as could be and it smelled good too. Typical me. Well, old me. New me had to be a little neater. No way I could ever get Kenna to live with me again if it was like this. I had to prove to her that I had changed somewhat. I dropped down my bag on the bed, and opened my closet doors, seeing what all I needed to pack. I couldn't carry more than two more bags. I had plenty of time to worry about that though. I lied down and relaxed for the first time day, and quickly fell into a pit of sleep.

        Kenna once told me that she would rather die than be without me. This was before she left. But I took it to heart. It hurt me to hear her say something like that. It put a lot of pressure on me too. One time she came up behind me, and slid her arms around my waist saying, "Let's never fall in love. I'm fine with loving. But once you fall, you can't ever get up." Her eyes were sparkling, her hair a mess of curls in a bun. I remember wondering what she meant. What the hell, she thought we would hurt each other? Of course, we did. But this was a time when we couldn't have been happier. I think she meant it that she didn't want us hurt. Any time in the future. I still never understood it. What's the difference between loving someone and being in love? How do you know the difference when it happens to you? I wonder if she knew the answer to any of these questions. She always said things I never understood, and had to search for meaning in. 

        My face hit the wood floor, and I woke up. Shit. I had a horrible habit of falling off my bed. I pushed myself up and made a trip to the bathroom, wiping my eyes. It was dark outside, and my phone told me it was midnight. Damn. My sleeping schedule really needed to get it's shit together. Maybe I should just sleep until daylight. Sounds good. I practically ran to bed, eager for more sleep.

        I had reached my goal. Sunlight hit my face as soon as I rolled on my side and I blinked into it. My alarm clock read 9:43. I could accept that. I stripped off my clothes right there in my room, and went to take a shower. Maybe it was better to live alone, didn't have to watch for other people.

        I was shaking my hair dry with a towel, combing through my closet, basically spraying water over all of it. I basically ripped about ten shirts off of hangers and stuffed them in a new bag, about 3 pairs of jeans. That was all I needed really. But I had to meet to see my family sometime this week, so I couldn't leave yet. I had just told them recently that Kenna and I were back together and they couldn't be happier. They always liked her, and Aaliyah loved her. They talked for hours one time when she first met them all. I was actually kind of jealous, because Aaliyah never talked to me anymore. After I moved out, we just grew apart. I asked her one time, if she had heard my new album. She said no, and that was the end. She never listened to my music anymore that I knew of. 

        Kenna reminded me of Aaliyah almost every single day. Just little habits she had, made me feel at home again with my little sister. I missed my family, but I was afraid of what questions would await me. I didn't feel like answering anything about my upcoming music, which I knew would be a hot topic, or about Kenna. I knew they wouldn't be judgmental or anything. I just didn't want to disappoint them with what I had to say. But I wouldn't lie to them. It was just a situation I wanted to avoid by any means. 

        I got dressed and left the apartment, I wanted to see the neighborhood again. I felt like I hadn't been here for, hell I didn't even know how long. Since the beginning of summer at least. Sometimes I wish I hadn't told Kenna I would move down there to be with her. I wanted to of course, but I was basically giving up my whole life for her. I guess I owed her that, after all she had gave to me.