Longing After Wang Ye's Shadow

Chapter 5 - Between Servant and Master

It has been a couple of months since surviving the assassin attempt during the travel back to Yu Mian City.

Strangely, life has to gone back to normal within just a short time for me.

Before the sun rises beyond the horizon, I will already be chopping the wood to get a fire going. Xiao Bai will then awake to help with washing vegetables and steaming fresh rice for the day.

Throwing a few pieces of wood under the stove, the fire lights up with even more vigor. The kitchen doesn't require many cooks, but I feel it has become way too desolate. Although there is only Wang Ye to serve in this big manor, servants haven't been allocated to watch the kitchen in shifts in case Wang Ye ever needs anything.

Xiao Bai finally enters the kitchen. Lifting the knife, she starts chopping the vegetables on the wooden cutting board.

"Hey, Xiao Bai. I'll cook breakfast. You go tidy up the courtyard," I say, walking up to her. She doesn't listen and continues to chop. 

She's still ignoring me...

"Fine. You cook. I'll go sweep the courtyard." 

She's still angry with me about our conversation from before. I understand that she has her own thoughts on how to live contently.

I've just decided that I wouldn't ask more from this second-rate experience. Unconsciously, I've dampened her spirits by nagging her continuously.

My tiring words must have annoyed her an awful lot. I've turned into a nuisance, someone doesn't have anything better to say other than the same negative lectures I've been spouting over the years. Even I'm starting to find annoyance in the mentality I've set for myself.

Living my life as if the whole world has done me wrong, feeling sorry for myself... sometimes I wish I didn't live so miserably either. I just can't help it. It's safer to constantly remind myself of the insignificant level I'm at than to strive for anything else.

After sweeping the courtyard, I make my way over to the kitchen. Bringing breakfast to Wang Ye is my job. He has been recuperating from the poisoned wound and hasn't had much of an appetite. As of now he can only stomach porridge and softly cooked meat dishes.

"Xiao Bai, I'll bring this to Wang Ye." A young girl says to her when I enter the kitchen.

Xiao Bai doesn't say a word, only nods as she continues to chop vegetables to prepare for lunch.

"I can bring it to Wang Ye," I say.

The young girl ignores me and picks up the tray. I observe the food with great scrutiny. Xiao Bai's cooking has improved training under me. She's almost perfected to Wang Ye's liking.

As the young girl passes by, I ask Xiao Bai, "When did Wang Ye assign another servant to serve him?"

She slams the knife down on the cutting board, its sharp blade stuck to the wooden surface.

"Xiao Bai, what are you doing?"

She leaves the kitchen quickly. The expression on her face worries me. She's never been this mad before, to the point where she wouldn't speak to me for days and have such an aggressive attitude.

"Really turns me off..." I mutter.

Whatever... She'll get over it.

The rest of the day goes by, always occupying myself with various tasks to find some meaning in what I do day after day.

As long as Wang Ye has a place to sleep, clean clothes to wear and a warm meal for dinner, I'd think.

I can't believe I've forgotten to prepare Wang Ye's bath!

It's already after dinner, and I haven't even boiled water to the suitable temperature for Wang Ye!

I've prepared the rice water and integrated bean powder in the bath. Wang Ye's wound still needed to heal. Although Wang Ye is exceptionally good looking, scars on his body would not be pleasant for a family member of royalty.

As I pour the last of the steaming, silky rice water into the bronze tub, I make my way behind the pale screen and set aside the bowl. Someone enters Wang Ye's bathing quarters, and the door makes a slight creaking sound as it closes.

I'm surprised to find someone here while I'm still getting ready. My heart beats faster and faster as the shadow gets closer.

"Wang Ye?" I call.

The shadow stops its steps. Closely veering through the screen, I see that the person in the room is Wang Ye!

"Who's there?" He asks. His eerily cold voice sends a shiver down my spine despite the heat in the room.

"Wang Ye! This lowly apologizes. This lowly was late to prepare your bath. Please allow this servant to leave before Wang Ye takes his bath..." I cower behind the screen, bowing and averting my eyes.

However, Wang Ye doesn't lecture me. I'm afraid he'd mistaken me as some sort of pervert who would want to sneak in on him bathing. I wouldn't even think to do something like that!

He pulls back from interrogating me. His head hanging down like he's taking a minute to think in silence. Just then, Wang Ye pulls open his robes and drops it to the floor.

Horrified, I turn around to erase the image from my mind. Blocking my eyes with my fingers, I hear splashing in the tub and can assume that Wang Ye has already stepped into the water to bathe.

I didn't see anything... I didn't... I really didn't!

Who am I kidding?! I saw everything! I saw it all scrunched up like that! Wang Ye is so beautiful but that... Can that really be considered beautiful?!

I told him I was in here! Why did he strip to get in the tub?

Oh, Aunt Liu, please forgive me. I did not mean to witness Wang Ye's dignity...

I decide to wait for Wang Ye to finish bathing before leaving. I mean he already knows I'm in here and found it to not be intrusive, right? Otherwise, why would Wang Ye have done such a thing!

It's not possible he is trying to intimidate me in some kind of lover's play. No way! That's ridiculous.

As soon as Wang Ye closes the doors, I race out after him and go straight to my room in the servant's quarters.

"Xiao Bai, I almost had a heart attack." My breathing is unstable when I enter the room. Catching my breath, I place my hand over my heart. Moving abnormally fast, I can't imagine a time when my heart was like this and my face this inflamed.

She's already sleeping. With her back turned, I see her shivering under the covers.

She must be cold. These nights have strangely been colder than usual.

I reach for her blanket and pull it up to her shoulders, patting her back as she sleeps.

"Chu Chu Jiejie..." She mumbles under her breath. Calling for me as if searching for a mirage in a dream, too difficult to grasp.

She's been giving me the cold shoulder these days, but in her sleep her true feelings are shown.

"There, there. Go to sleep now," I whisper to her softly.

Her sleep talking ceases, and she finally appears to be at ease.

Time for me to get some rest as well. Tomorrow, another day starts with me being up before the sunrise. I just hope I don't dream of anything unsightly. I need to completely remove that picture of Wang Ye's... body out of my mind!