Healing You

Chapter 65

Jeremiah makes a fair point. I've never experienced loss before, so I really don't know how Scarlett's going to be.

"You're right." I pull out my phone to cancel the plans.

"I know I am. Now that I've saved your relationship, I'll be making me a plate to go."

I carefully knock on the door to our room. I usually don't knock, but I want Scarlett to know I'm coming in. Receiving no response, I walk in. Scarlett's curled up in my blankets, facing away from me. At first, I think she's sleeping, but I see her scrolling on her phone.

"I brought you breakfast." I figured that she wasn't coming down any time soon, so I brought it up to her.

"Not hungry." She mumbles without looking at me.

"Are you sure? You need to eat." I set the tray down on my dresser and come over on her side.

Scarlett looks up at me with watery red, swollen eyes. Tears stain her cheek, and I know that today's going to be much harder than I thought.

"Are you okay?" Okay, has been our gauging of her mental health. Being okay is the goal. Being okay lets me know that she's in a decent headspace, and there's no risk of relapse or worse. Scarlett's been "okay" for a while with a few "good" and even "great" days sprinkled in between.

Scarlett shakes her head. "No. I'm not okay." She chokes out before breaking down into sobs.

~*~

"You have a little something right - " I lick my thumb and wipe pizza sauce from the corner of Scarlett's mouth, "there."

"I could have gotten it myself." She giggles. Scarlett's mood has down a full 180 from a few hours earlier.

"You could have, but then I wouldn't have had an excuse to touch you." I smile before placing a gentle kiss on her lips. She tastes like tomatoes, garlic, and pure happiness.

Scarlett and I haven't left bed all day. Seeing her cry showed me that she didn't need a big carnival and a bunch of people around her today. She just needed time to grieve freely. I gave her the space she needed to safely mourn without feeling the need to internalize her emotions.

Instead of forcing her out for some elaborate event, I let her cry on my shirt. We watched corny comedies on Netflix, ate pizza, and cuddled. The day couldn't have been more perfect for either of us.

"Can I ask you a question?" I grab another slice of pizza.

"Yeah, sure." Scarlett lets the cheese of her slice slide into her mouth.

"What's your favorite memory of Brandon and Kassidy?" I take a bite.

"Hmm? Well...I don't know. When you lose someone, all the memories become your favorite. You'd do anything to have them back to make more, good or bad." She trails off, and I think I've maybe asked too soon.

"There was this one time, though. Brandon was trying to teach me how to fight one day, and Kassidy came storming into the house. Brandon apparently threatened this guy that was into her. She was pissed and immediately jumped on him. Brandon thought she was playing, so he snatches her wig off. There she is standing in the middle of the living room, bald and livid. She does one of those dramatic ass karate kicks and catches Brandon off guard. He goes flying into the tv, smashes that shit, and breaks his throwing arm. Now we're fucked because Brandon's arm is all bent weird, and the TV is in pieces. We can't call an ambulance because we don't want our parents to know. Kassidy has her learners permit but not a license, and I'm only 13, so I can't help with anything." Scarlett laughs as she reminisces.