Scarlett
I wake up in a cold sweat. Hot tears pour down my face as I struggle to breathe. My heart races as the walls begin to close in, trapping me in my bed.
This is it. This is the end of me.
I don't realize I'm screaming until Brandon bursts into my room, with Kassidy rushing behind him. "Scarlett! Yo, you good?!"
I shake my head as I continue screaming. I'm seconds away from meeting my end.
"Scarlett breathe. You need to breathe." Brandon kneels to my level and tries to coach me through the breathing exercises my therapist taught me. Kassidy slides under my faded comforter and pulls me against her chest.
Inhale.
"Scarlett, it's okay. You're okay. You're going to be fine. I'm right here. Brandon is right here. We're right here, baby girl." Kassidy coos into my ear while she strokes my hair.
She's right. I'm going to be okay.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I calm myself from full-blown sobs to soft whimpers. The walls have retreated to their former place, and my heart no longer feels like it's going to burst. However, the overwhelming feeling of terror is still looming over me.
Kassidy continues to hold me even though I soaked her favorite nightgown with my tears. Brandon's sitting on my bed, brown eyes that mirror mine are full of sadness. I know he hates seeing me broken like this. I know they both do.
Ever since the car accident that nearly claimed Brandon and Kassidy's lives, I've had these recurring dreams of Brandon and Kassidy dying in the most brutal manner. They feel so real that I wake up in a panic, afraid that the only people in the world who care about me are dead. My chest feels heavy, and it feels as though my lungs are restricted.
"Scarlett. We've been thinking. Maybe it's time for you to get help. Real help, not that half-ass so-called therapist mom sent you to — a professional. You can't keep dealing with this on your own. All of this isn't normal." Brandon says sadly to me.
Brandon and Kassidy have been whispering about my mental health for weeks now, figuring out how to tell me their fears without cracking the delicate eggshells they've been walking on for me. They thought they were doing a good job keeping me in the dark but, I hear them — all the time. Tucked away in the corner after another dinner, I haven't touched. Shooting me concerned glances, amongst hushed whispers.
"Scar, you can't keep living like this. It's unhealthy." Kassidy squeezes my forearm.
"ButI keep having these nightmares." I finally choke out.
"We know." But Brandon, you don't know. You don't know how terrifying it is to watch your own flesh and blood cry out for you, unable to do anything to help. It's terrifying because it feels so real. I can hear the crunch of the metal, the feel of the warm rain on my skin, and, worst of all, I can smell the blood. I feel the life leaving Brandon's body as he's betrayed by his own car, and I can hear the freakish gurgles of a partially decapitated Kassidy. It's all just too much.
"You both were dead. I watched you both die, and there was nothing I could do." I cry into Kassidy's chest.
"Scarlett, we are fine. Besides a few scrapes and bruises, we survived. We're okay." Brandon reassures me.
"We're right here."
"We're not going anywhere, any time soon, Scarlett."
~*~
