SCINTILLATE - Book #1 of The Light Key Trilogy

Chapter 19

I didn't sleep at all and sneaked out of the house at six in the morning, taking my gloom to a coffee shop I'd never been to before and where no one would find me. Bits of the day before still clung to me. Remnants of mud under my nails and humiliation in my gut. I had left a note for Dad, telling him that he was unreasonable and unfair. I was going to school, and he'd either have to send the police or come himself to get me.

Finn waited for me at my locker. He wore a condemned look, miserable and slouchy. I walked straight up to him and wrapped my arms around his body, latching my fingers at the small of his back. Heavy arms draped around my shoulders as he buried his face in my hair. His heart slammed against my chest. Something was very wrong. I could feel it radiating off him in the waves of colors that mixed together in a confusing blend, like milky paint spilling from his body.

"Last night was awful. I'm sorry, Finn."

"No. You're not to be sorry. It's all on me."

The bell to first period rang shrill and insistent. I wasn't ready to leave him.

"Come on." He took my hand and led me to the greenhouse. We slipped inside. The world outside ceased to exist behind the doors. This was our chrysalis, warm and muffled. Finn had a reckless, wild look about him. He stared at me a long moment as I hopped up to sit on the potting bench. He stepped in between my legs, then grazed his lips over mine, a brushstroke of desire and anguish. What was wrong with him? Every color he had was unclear. Emotional grime tinted his aura.

He leaned in close, making my heart ram against my chest. "Innocent Irish lad jaunts over to America and look what happens to him." His eyes flickered with mischief, but there was a hint of something so sad, too, that it made my stomach cave in on itself. "Why'd I have to fall in love with you?" he asked.

My heart went off in my chest like a confetti bomb. Little mini-hearts floated into my bloodstream. "Love?"

He practically glared at me. "You know I am. Mad in love! It's fookin' insane. I talked to my mother last night after what happened at your house. She's angry at me for becoming so involved and for sneaking into your room and jeopardizing you. I know—I'm not good for you. I have to go home, Cora. My flight for Ireland leaves tonight."

Tonight. I couldn't breathe. He may as well have kicked me in the heart.

Finn closed his eyes. His head tipped back.

"Why did you tell your mom about sneaking into my room?" I asked.

"Something happened to me last night. I felt things—physically, emotionally—that I've never felt before. I wasn't myself. It was so strange. It was like I lost control. I shouldn't have done what I did." He shook his head, casting off the memory. "My mum's made the arrangements. You have no idea how controlling she can be. I have to go home."

Worry radiated from my center, up to my chest, closing off my throat. I swallowed hard. Had I done something to him? I was simply trying to give him love last night, from my soul to his, but maybe because I was this silver aberration, I had inadvertently affected him badly. My love felt like a weapon.

I stared, disbelieving. Our parting sounded like a choice right now. His choice. I knew good-bye would eventually come, but it was too soon. He was breaking my heart. My voice was small and shaky. "Do you want to leave?"

"Cora." His hand cupped my cheek, and he shook his head sadly. Gone was the boy who was open to me. Globes of self-protection floated in his aura. "What difference does it make what I want? You always knew I'd be going back."

"When I go there—"

"If you go. And if you do, it won't be for me. It's time to say good-bye, Cora." One tear snaked down his cheek.

An aching freeze started in the middle of my chest, spreading outward like cold fingers. My breaths were a puff that barely came out. I was slowly icing over, numbing my heart to the pain. "Go then."

Finn looked down at the floor for too long. When he looked up, his eyes were full of things he'd never say to me. He reached for me, desperate. "Maybe someday—"

"Don't say 'someday' to me!" There was no way we would see each other again. I tried to push him away. "Go," I whispered again, but then found myself grabbing his neck, my fingers tugging at his dark hair. I pulled him against me. Even when his good-bye was the truth, I couldn't deny my need to feel him close before he was gone.

"Just leave," I cried in his ear, clutching his T-shirt. His hands found their way to my skin, ran possessively up my back. He slid my hips forward, stealing a gasp from me.

"Go away," I moaned, with my legs wrapped tightly around his waist. Tears mingled with warm kisses that tasted like love, staining our lips.

"I don't care if you go," I said against his mouth. Then, the truth I couldn't hold back any longer. "I love you."

"I'm not the same person since I met you. You've affected me forever."

"You're so mean. It was cruel to tell me you love me and then tell me you're leaving."

"I'm sorry." His words were spoken in a choked voice against my collarbone, but my heart recognized the truth. The empty promise of us. "I have to do this now, but someday things may be different—"

I shook my head solemnly and whispered into his hair, "There is no someday. People leave me, Finn. They don't come back."