At least I was Loved

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I'm dying, it was so certain that its time for me to just end the journey of my life right here and now. I could smell that peculiar smell of hospitals,I knew I was brought to one. I still can't get over what happened at the lab,yes,an accident and we were inside. No one to blame it on,no one to ask help for,only us.

I could hear peoples voices as if they were really tensed,those must be the doctors and the nurses. They shouldn't waste time on me and save Ye Bin eonnie,because I feel it,I know,I know I can't make it alive. I can sense my surrounding,but no matter what,my eyes aren't opening,my body isn't moving at all. I can feel the pain. Its too painful that I want to scream,no one would want to know how it feels like being literally burnt.

I wonder how is everyone doing,grandma,Misaki,Yoongi,and Jin...I wanted to meet them for the last time if it was possible,or at least hear their voices. I know they must be hurt,and will be really hurt after they lose me,I know now. They were always there for me,I wasn't alone at all,they stood by me,and even now,they might feel like dying too. I want them to go on and live their lives with little moments of happiness even if its without me.Why am I having such negative thoughts like dying? its not that,I can just feel it and I just know. Now I know why no one knows how its like before they die or feel like dying,I thought its because people already dies,so how will the others know? But even now, I don't know how to describe how it feels like,all I can say to myself is,it is painful. Every inch of my body and soul hurts and can feel the pain.

Jin? I never would've cared even if I died although I'd be sad for my friends and grandma,but...he...he made me wanna live. I wanna live now even though I know I can't. He gave me what I was never deserving of,that love,that affection,it was enough for me to think that I lived my life very well and now its time to go to where my family is. For the last time,I wanted to say that I love you,Jin. But I couldn't,I wish you live your life to the fullest even if I'm not by your side,you have to go on and do so. You can cry,but your smile shouldn't fade forever. You know what? I...don't regret it,any if it. I don't wanna be selfish and have an urge for more,I wanna accept whats next. But for once,just for once,I questioned, is it too selfish of me to wanna live with the one I love?

I got that answer as soon as my mind stopped working. Its time for me to go,I wish....I wish there will be a next chance to live my life with you,Jin...I wish

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"Time of death,24th February,5:43p.m." The doctor stated

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⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

[Present]

When all was said and done, there comes a day welcoming the kisses of the sun rays and eyes full of hope and dedication could be seen in the workplace. What a fine day for someone to be the odd one out and cry just because they want to, just becauae life is hard, do they need some exaggerated reason instead? what a beautiful day to get all your work done and afterwards get along with all your co-workers to have fun, even overtime might seem less stressful in such a day,or am I wrong?

No, theres nothing like a fine day full of hope, there will be nothing special if the weather is nice, nothing new if the sun rays beems at your face. Its just another normal day, you'll face problems on such a day as well. So why are people so happy and more dedicated at work today? Well, they just need something to be happy over, to find little happiness in such small things or matters.

"Mr.Kim, someone handed it on the reception and said that it was for you"

"Me?" Jin questioned

"Yes, it was someone named....uh...Kim Dai Yixin?"

Amidst opening the package, he was stopped upon hearing that ever so familiar name "who?"

"Kim Dai Yixin, right! thats what that lady said"

"where's she?" Knowing it was impossible to meet the one he wanted to meet again, he wanted to meet everyday, the one,of whom he thought everyday, he never thought he would. Afterall, she was long gone, gone to a faraway land, where he can't reach. But upon hearing her name from a stranger, who just said she visited his workplace to hand him something, a part of him felt that maybe....maybe he could...

"she left just a moment ago"

"so it hasn't been long,right? Sorry, can you cover up for me? I have to go" He hastily exited his workplace after placing that package on the reception

It was more important to find her for him,than to open what she left for him. But was it really her? After she was dead for sure, it can't really be her,right?

After searching for her near his workplace, at every corner possible, he couldn't find her at all. Was it someone else? He should've checked the package before,right? He returned to his workplace to find nothing on the reception, a hella strange event. Where is it? Even the receptionist doesn't know, how is it possible?

So what do you think? Should we call it a fine,beautiful day full of hope?

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[Edited, No error]

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