Mikasa es tu casa (Attack On Titan One-shots)

Connie's revenge- part 1

Ummm... I realize the setting as of this chapter is about to become inconsistent. Let me provide an adequate explanation for the confusing jumping around: idk bruh.

Yo dudes, today I'm gunna play an epic prank on Sasha today, it's gunna be so fuckin' cool, holy SHEHAT! Usually I'm all business so I can maintain my image as an awesome soldier with complete dexterity on the maneuver gear, but I need payback.

Oh yeah. I need to tell the details I guess. Well, a few days ago I was walking to my seat in the mess hall for lunch in the trainee camp. I sat in the seat I usually sit in. Then when I get up, there's a strange stain on my pants, but after a second I realized it was just ketchup. Sasha suddenly looks up and sees me, and starts laughing and pointing at me. In moments, everyone's staring at me while Sasha yells, "Connie got his period!"

Well ah... I didn't really get it since I didn't know what a period was, but when Armin explained it to me later, I was fuckin' pissed! So I now realize Sasha obviously must've put some ketchup on my seat before I sat down. SHE'LL PAY!

Armin told me how periods work and that girls use these wierd thingies called tampons to somehow stop them from bleeding??? I'm not too smart about girl parts but I thought that anything bleeding could probably be covered up with a bandaid. But Armin also said they bleed for like 5 days straight and just like- what the hell is wrong with girls anyways?

Getting back to the point, I have an elaborate plan of pranks to get back at Sasha. See, I have a foolproof method of using several backup plans in case one doesn't go as planned. I tried the first one today at lunch. It was an identical prank to the one she so obviously used on me.

I put a whole load of ketchup on the seat where Sasha usually sits, by Mikasa, in the lunch room. I got here first and I'm waiting patiently for her to grab her food and run to her seat. She would be so eager to eat as usual that she won't even stop to look at her seat. Heheh. A perfect payback.

Ah, the door is opening now, and in comes- Mikasa?! Uh oh, and with Eren! What if she sees the ketchup?! Oh wait, here comes Sasha bursting in through the door! She's heading to the food! Yes!

"AAAAAGGHHHGGHGGGGGGGHHH!!!!" Oh fu-

"UCKING KETCHUP! Why is there ketchup on my seat?! I just sat in it!!"
Damn, I forgot that Sasha sits on the right of Mikasa, and Eren on the left! I put the ketchup on the left... where Eren sits! AW SHEHAT. Eren is yelling rather angrily about how he'll kill every last ketchup, Sasha has just appeared and is laughing about another period, while Armin and Mikasa are trying to help.

"Are you sure you didn't spill it yourself, Eren?" Armin asks.

"Turn around and lemme wipe the ketchup off your butt, Eren." Mikasa says. Eren sort of grunts at both of them and leaves, presumably to change his pants. Drat. This was a failure. Time for plan B!