Mikasa es tu casa (Attack On Titan One-shots)

Connie's revenge part 2

Watch the chibi episodes. Also... spoilers?

Well phase one of my epic revenge against Sasha didn't go like I planned... But never fear! This is exactly why I thought up alternative plans!

I see that ketchup isn't going to cut it. My plan B is fool proof though. See, I'm an expert in traps! I've concocted an elaborate plan to embarrass and ensnare Sasha perfectly!

See, I dug some holes in the dry sandy area beyond the forests of our training camp, and made it so there's a layer of sand on top and if you walk over it you fall in by weaving a grass net over the whole. I'm awesome like that. Me and Sasha usually hang out a lot anyways, so on our way back from our forest training session today, I'll take her by where I dug like 10 holes so she has plenty of chances to fall into my trap!

HEHEHEHEHEHEH.

•••later•••

Alright!

After a long session of titan killing training, which I totally owned by the way, we're finally on our way back to the main camp where our barracks are.

"Hey Connie," Sasha comes up behind me and whispers in my ear.

"I know it was you who put ketchup on Erens seat. That was funny bro! The look on his face!" She mimics the moment when Eren got up and declared that he'd kill every last ketchup. Even though I don't know why she's laughing about it with me when she's the person who put ketchup on my seat, I have to admit, it's pretty funny. Sasha is super good at doing Eren impressions.

She's actually really good at Mikasa impressions too. And especially Levi impressions. Come to think of it, Sasha is good at all kinds of stuff... she's good at being pretty too... wait, what am I doing! Thinking about the enemy. Ugh I'm disgusted with myself. I try to stop gagging at my disgustingness.

"Hmm? Why are you looking sick? Are you okay?"

"Uhh, yeah I'm just... I... Oh!" A chance to lure her the other way!

"Yeah, I just wanted to umm take a little shortcut! Yeah, that's it! C'mon I'll show you where it is." Sasha just nods and says "okay."

We quickly walk over to where the traps await. All I gotta do is get her to walk over.... umm... right over.... oh shit, I forgot where I put the traps! Well there's a bunch, so if I just keep on the lookout for them, I can find them and go around and Sasha can fall in!

"Connie, what are you doing?" Sasha asks. I guess I do look wierd, walking almost on tiptoe and hopping around and walking in wide circles around what I think are some of the traps.

"Ah, just um, trying to stay on my toes! I need to stay agile so not to get rusty on the maneuver gear!"

Yas, that was a good excuse Connie.

Wow, thanks Connie!

No problem, Connie.

Anyways Sasha will probably fall into my traps any second now... Any second...

I stop tiptoeing around for a second because I thought I saw something. Yes! It looks like Sasha stopped over what looks like a trap! I mean, I think it's a trap. Im like 95% sure. She's probably about to fall right n-

"Ahh!" Shit! Fallen in my own trap! No way!

"Sasha, haaaaalp! I've fallen, I've fallen!" I try to pull myself up by grabbing the edges of the hole, but the sand prevents me from getting a hold.

"I've fallen and I can't get up! I need some fucking Life Alert over here!" I tell her desperately.

I hear a faint giggling from above, its gotta be Sasha.

"Hey, come on hel-" a huge lighting bolt suddenly strikes down right in from of my hole and I see the most unexpected thing ever.

"Help...?" Is all I can muster.

"Holy fucking JESUS! It's the COLOSSAL TITAN!" We yell. It's just as tall as everyone said, this is crazy. I wish I had a gun to kill myself with right now, because I figure I'm already dead meat.

I hear a scream and see the colossal titan grab Sasha. Then he reaches for me. He easily plucks me out of my hole while I struggle pointlessly. Fuck! This is how it ends, huh?

"Sasha! I want you to know that I lo-" my dying declaration is cut short and I'm rocketed to the titan's mouth and I think I'm about to feel the gross warmth of a titans mouth before I'm crunched like a potato chip in its jaws. Instead, he swallows me and Sasha whole in one gulp.

"AHHHHHHH!!"! We both slide down the titan's slippery throat and tumble head first into the huge cave of its stomach. We land splashing and flailing because there's a liquid at the bottom of the stomach.

"Gross! What is this?" Sasha asked.

I have no clue. I'm about to tell her that when I'm interrupted by a familiar voice, "I'm pretty sure it's some kind of titan gastrointestinal fluid."

It's Armin! "Yo Armin, how'd you get in here?" I can't see him too good cuz it's dark in here, but I can tell he shrugged. "Mikasa was talking to Eren when the colossal titan showed up."

From the back of the somach, behind me, I hear Eren smacking and punching the walls. I can hear muffled screams and yells for bloody murder, but it sounds like Eren is currently drowning...

"AAAAHHHHAAAHHH!!!" Woah! Suddenly light is pouring in from the mouth, along with new people that the colossal titan ate. 2 recruits land with belly flops on the surface of the water.

"Oww..." I hear Marco moan. "How'd we get in here?" Jean asks from a little further away.

I smirk. "Its wierd, I guess the gang's all here," I say.

"You're forgetting a few people..."
Sasha says. I whisper in her ear, "Yeah, but like, most of those losers are titans anyways." She just shrugs in agreement.

"Sooo..." Jean wades closer to where we stand in a group.

"What now?"

We all just look around at each other. What now?