Mikasa es tu casa (Attack On Titan One-shots)

Jaeger protection squad

Uniform? Check.
Survey corps cape? Check.
3D maneuver gear? Check.
Dead parents? Check.

Aaand lastly, scarf.
Check.

Today is the day. Today marks a day in history, a day where Eren Jeager will no longer be kidnapped, beaten, or really under any threat possible.

Today is the first official meeting of my newly formed Jaeger Protection Squad. Or as I like to call it to myself, Eren Secret Service. I, Mikasa, am the self appointed leader of the squad. My squad consists of only the best and most devoted soldiers to protect Eren. My organization is known far and wide, with an amazing reputation and a force to rival even the military police- in smarts and skill of course. (We're a little low on staff at the moment). I even have buttons that I made myself with our insignia, Eren's face over two crossed swords, and my trademark scarf at the bottom with the letters JPS on it. Everything's been marked on the mental checklist, it's time to begin the very first official meeting!!!

"Let the first official meeting of the Jaeger Protection Squad commence, JPS for short." I say, addressing everyone in the room. This just happens to be Armin, and technically me too.

"Hmm? Armin." I say assertively.
"Yeah?" He replies.

"Where is Eren?" I whisper. Armin sucks in a breath and looks at the empty chair like he just noticed that the very person this grand organization was founded for was missing.

"Yeah... Um. Eren didn't wanna come," He said.

"What. How could he not want to come?" I am truly shocked.

"Well in all honesty, I don't wanna be here either, Mikasa. You forced me, remember?" He admits.

"Hmm... I guess the responsibility falls to me to keep the prestigious Jaeger Protection Squad from becoming corrupt." I said. I know the answer to this problem.

"That's it! We need more recruits." I announce. Armin looks at me skeptically. He may look unsure, but I already know who will join next.

"Armin... where's your button?" I whisper. Armin whines and fishes the homemade button out of his pocket and pins it to his shirt.

•••

"So what is this thing you wanna do? Protect Eren?" Sasha asks. She's already eating the food I got her to join the JPS. In the barracks, she leans back on the back legs of a chair, her feet up on the desk that Connie sits on.

"Yes. You and Connie can both be ranking officers. And here are your buttons," I say handing them the buttons with our insignia on it. This was the only way I could make Connie join.

"YEAH! But like, what rank am I exactly?" Connie asks.

Shit. I didn't actually wanna make them officers, I still haven't finished coming up with Eren related names for our ranks. Time for bullshit.

"Connie, I can guarantee that you will be made First Jaeger Sergeant of showering, and um... hair inspection!" Wow that wouldn't work, considering his lack of hair, but Connie is already jumped up from the desk, cheering and fist pumping.

"Wait, what about me, Mikasa. I want to know my commanding officer rank too!" Complains Sasha. Damn, more improv.

"Ah. Well, you get to be 1st Jaeger lieutenant of food quality... and... Curfew setting! Yeah that sounds alright."

"YAS, FOOD!" She cheers. Success!

Onto our next targets. "Armin. The list." I say. "Right." He replies and hands me a clipboard.

Connie and Sasha, check. I move my finger down the list to the next name.

Christa.

I had wisely asked Armin to order the targets from easiest to persuade to join, to least. Christa seems genuinely nice, so she should say yes just out of kindness.

•••

"Ha! That sounds retarded! We aren't joining that." A particular tall freckled brunette says. I sigh dejectedly. Why me? The sun is especially hot this time of day, and I'm even sweating here in the shade of the barracks trying to recruit Christa with Armin.

"Ymir, were not exactly inviting you... at least not yet. We wanted Christa first so then she could convince you to join." I explained. "Ya know, like seduce you into it or something."

"Also, we have buttons," Armin chimes in.

Ymir makes an annoyed face and suddenly grabs Christa possessively around the waist and yanks her closer to her. Christa yelps and blushes.

"I have imagined Christa convincing me to do a lot of things. I've also imagined me successfully convincing her to do a lot of things." She chuckles. "There's an even longer list of the things I've imagined Christa would seduce me into doing, and I'll have you know that when I'm thinking about random shit, it is almost exclusively about various things that Christa could do seductively."

Christa had been blushing more and more profusely with each statement, and now she looked ready to faint, and her face was tomato red. This is not how I planned this conversation to go. I was hoping to catch her without Ymir.

"That said, joining your dumb 'Jaeger protection squad' was not a possible outcome on any of my lists, and it is also not in any of my fantasies." She concludes. She's confident and bluntly truthful, at least.

"So... We'll come back later," I say.
"Armin, who's next!?"

•••

"What do you say, Marco?" Armin asks. The next person on the list had been split between both Jean and Marco, because Marco is nice and is very devoted to his team and comrades, while Armin was convinced I could easily get Jean to join with my, *shudder*, feminine wiles. So Marco was the first choice.

"Um... What's the point of this new squad again?" He asks.

"Were protecting Eren." I say.

"Um... from Titans...?"

"Yes. Other things too, but Titans is kind of central to our purpose, so he doesn't lose any more limbs."

"Yeah... okay well here's the thing... Don't we all need protection from the Titans? And like, that's what were training for, so we can protect humanity and ourselves.... Also Eren can regenerate limbs." Marco explains.

I huff frustratedly. "You're missing the point, Marco. I can't protect Eren on my own 100 percent of the time, so I need help."

"D-didja miss the points I just made?" He says.

I pinch the bridge of my nose.
"Armin." I say.

"Aw jeez... Connie! Sasha!" Armin calls out.

Suddenly Connie and Sasha jump on Marco and pin him to the tree that he was standing near. They're laughing and giggling. They better do it like I told them!

"Listen here, Marco. If Mikasa says she needs a squad, you better join that squad." Sasha says menacingly while pinning Marco's arms to the tree. Connie chuckles and continues his lines.

"Yeah, you don't wanna know what's gunna happen to you and..." He stops and quickly glances at smudged writing on his hand, "Jeans." Oh god. Facepalm.

Marco looks confused, but Sasha does her part right and shoves Marco to the ground. She takes out a loaf of bread. She makes sure Connie has him pinned down right before shoving it in his mouth and yelling, "JOIN THE JPS OR ELSE!!" Marco has tears in his eyes and looks legitimately scared. He's pretty strong so his struggling is slowly shaking Connie off as he yells, "TAP THE GROUND TWICE IN SUBMISSION!"

I sit back and watch my handiwork, and Marco taps the ground with his hand a few times. Sasha and Connie climb off of him as he spits out the bread.

He's breathing heavily and I throw a homemade button at him.

"Welcome to the Jaeger Protection Squad..." I narrow my eyes and quietly say, "...bitch."