𝙎he was happy to explore. Alexandria seemed like such a nice place. 'Too good to be true' that was all she could think about. But it was true. And that was more than a little bit terrifying.
She and Rick didn't talk about the kiss. She figured that was best, really. A momentary lapse in judgment. That was all it was. Adalyn losing her mind temporarily, but she had found it again and now she was fine.
She actually slept that night. Rick didn't. Neither did Michonne.
The next morning meant it was time to get to work. Adalyn bit at her lip as Olivia, the woman who managed the guns and the pantry, showed her around.
Adalyn took stock of everything. Of the guns, the food. There was a lot of it. So much that it made Adalyn almost afraid. What would happen if it ran out?
"There's so much," Adalyn said.
Olivia nodded. "Yeah," she said. "It keeps us all fed, armed. And we always have extra."
Adalyn nodded.
Glenn got into a fight with Deanna's son, Aiden. Adalyn hadn't seen it, but she heard about it plenty. Heard about how Daryl had nearly strangled Nicholas to death and would have if Rick hadn't dragged him away.
Rick and Michonne finally had their jobs. They were constables. Adalyn thought it was fitting.
She grinned at the sight of him in his uniform. "Howdy, Sheriff," she greeted, which earned a smile before he made way outside to talk to Daryl.
They were still staying in Rick's house, crammed into the living and dining rooms on makeshift beds. Once Daryl came inside, Carol close behind, Adalyn joined Rick.
She let her elbows rest on the porch as she looked him over. "I like it here," she said. "Already, I do."
"Good," he said. "What do you think of your job?"
"They have so much food," she said. "So many guns. It's amazing. And terrifying, too. If they decided we go, we would be ruined. If we decided..." She swallowed hard. "We could take this place, if we really had to. I don't want to. I like everyone, so far, at least. But we could."
"Yeah," Rick said, nodding slowly. "Yeah, I know. I hope we won't have to do that, but if it comes to it- -."
"I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry. Really, I am. That was a stupid decision on my part. This isn't a world where..."
"Addy."
"...I can afford to care enough about someone like that, so I..."
"Addy."
"... am really, truly, sorry, Rick. And I hope after this we won't have to talk- -"
"Adalyn, it's okay."
She blinked, looking up at him, stunned. "What?"
"It's okay," he said. "Really, it is. I kissed you back for a reason, Adalyn."
And then she started laughing. Rick snorted quietly. He took her by the hand, smoothing a thumb over her knuckles. "Really?" she asked him with a weak breath.
"Yeah," he said. "Yeah."
She let out a sharp breath, holding back more laughter. She didn't want him to think she was a psychopath. Not now.
"Your kid is more perceptive than I am," she said. "I didn't even realize how I felt. But he realized. He knew."
Rick chuckled faintly at that. "He picks up on more than you'd think."
She nodded. With her free hand, she ran her fingers through her hair, taking in a breath. Rick watched her. "I care about you," he said.
"I care about you," Adalyn echoed. "I just don't know if that's a good idea."
Rick nodded slowly. "I get that," he said.
Adalyn leaned over the porch railing, staring down at the dirt, trying to clear her mind, to make all of the thoughts go away for a moment. It had been so simple before they'd come to Alexandria. There was only one thing they had to do then; survive. But now that was different. Now, they were safe, or, at least, as safe as safe could get now.
She shook her head. "I never thought that anyone would care about me," she said, hesitating as she tried to find the right words. "I never imagined that a guy would care about me, especially."
"Why not?" Rick asked.
"Being a foster kid will do that to you," she said, letting out a rueful chuckle. "Messes you up in all sorts of ways. Makes you think that no one wants you, that no one cares. And guys, well, they don't like damaged girls. The ones that do, they're not guys you want to be around. They like damaged because they can damage you even more and you won't be able to tell the difference."
"You were a foster kid?"
"Yeah. Since I was four. I don't really remember my actual parents. They weren't around much. Drugs mattered more than their kid." Another sharp laugh. This one sounded more like a sob, but she hid it with a weak smile. "Isn't that messed up? You bring a kid into the world, you take care of them. You don't decide that you care more about..." and there was an actual sob. Adalyn shook her head frantically. "It's fine. They're probably gone, anyway. It doesn't matter."
She wiped at the tears that were in her eyes. "My life before this was shit. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But God, what I wouldn't give to go back to how it was before."
Rick nodded slightly. "You don't talk much about it," he said. "Your life before. The bartender part might be all I know."
That earned a chuckle. A small success for Rick.
"I was passed around foster homes like a hackeysack," she said. "I never really stayed long. According to my caseworker, I was a 'problem child'. I would call myself a nightmare."
Rick laughed at that. "Really?" he asked. "You were that bad?"
"I hated every foster family that took me in," Adalyn elaborated. "None of them seemed to understand that I just wasn't going to let them be parents. I didn't know any better, I mean, my actual parents weren't really great examples. I stole from a few houses. Silver spoons and forks, jewelry, little things here and there. I had one stint in juvie because I took a wedding ring. That was the last straw, really. My caseworker just kind of gave up. She'd find me a home, I'd run away. It was our little routine. Kept up until I turned eighteen, then I was on my own."
Rick was nodding along. "How'd you wind up working in a bar?" he asked.
"I always liked drinking," Adalyn replied with a small shrug. "I started when I was fourteen, I wasn't exactly going to stop. So I waited tables for a while. Then I turned twenty-one and it just came naturally."
Rick squeezed her hand. "I still like you," he said. "And I'm not a damaged guy who just gonna make everything worse."
She laughed then, burying her face in her free hand. He reached up, taking hold of that hand as well and drawing it away, letting him look into her eyes.
And Adalyn smiled as he kissed her.
