Dark mind

Epilogue I

"I'm a great listener. Maybe I can help you." His adorable voice tried.

I smiled warmly at him.
"Just like you're godmother, wise beyond you're years." I said and totally meant it.
Henry was only 7 and he was so smart and wise, he reminded me of my best friend.

I was 24 when I had him. I remember being so scared when I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't because I didn't want to have a child. I mean, after all, me and Tyler planned it. We both wanted a baby, half of him and half of me. Our age hardly mattered in that moment. I was finishing studying journalism and Tyler was finishing his studies to become a teacher. We felt like it was the perfect time, regardless of what other people said.

Spoiler alert for all the haters that said I got knocked up and that I ruined my life: in the end it turned out just fine for us.

I just wanted my baby to have a better mother than I ever had, but I knew nothing about motherly love.

What if I screw up? I had asked Tyler countless times and he always said the same thing, that I was not my mother and would never be her. And that when I saw the little bunddle, I would know what to do.

He was right, but don't tell him I told you because I will not hear the end of it.

When I heard his cry, when I felt his tiny hand on my cheek, when I saw his tiny miniature body covered in my blood and I held him in my arms as he looked at me, I knew what love meant, what the love of a mother really felt like.

And I knew there was no way in hell I would turn out like Claire.

He looked so much like Amy's child, like the Henry from my dreams. Sometimes, I wonder if I dreamed with my son when I was younger. Regardless, I love him, just as much as JJ loved me.

" I would never judge you. You can tell me anything and I will never stop loving you. You will always be my momma." My Henry said, bringing me back to the present.

I caressed his cheek and smiled sadly at him.
"I know baby. It's just hard for me to talk about." I told him and hugged him tight.

"When I was a little girl, a bit younger than you are now, I had a brother. His name was Jason, he was my big brother and my best friend. I used to have nightmares growing up, and Jason would always help me through them. When I was sad, he would cheer me up. He was everything to me." I said, my voice surprisingly steady.

"What happened to him mommy?"

"He... he had to go to heaven baby, he had to go with the angels. And he became an angel. Now, he watches over us." I said with tears in my eyes.

"How are you sure?" Henry asked me as he snuggle closer to me.

I kissed his forehead and looked at his blue orbs, so similar to my brothers eyes.
"When someone you love goes away, it's obvious that they have to leave you. But there love stay's with you forever, and everything that made you love that person will always be right here." I said, placing my hand on his heart.

"And it is through that love that guarantee's us that we will see our loved ones again, and that until that moment comes they will watch over us."

"Like the stars?" He asked softly and I nodded.

"Yes baby. Exactly like the stars." I pointed at the night sky, so clear and filled with bright dots.

"Every star belongs to an angel that was once loved. To keep that love going, every night the stars shine bright so people can admire them, and love them." I told him, looking up at the sky, where no doubt my brother was, watching me and finally at peace.