DNYL CLUB/// norenmin

Part 19

I'M INSPIRED AGAIN!!! i'm so happy i could cry i can write 

Renjun lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. His thoughts wandered back to what Taeil had said.

"Well, unless you tell them and find out how they feel about you, none of you stand a chance- even if they do love you back."

What?

How is that even possible?

How could it be possible that they needed to know?

Usually the only way you could know if your feelings were returned was by whether or not you got hanahaki.

But I don't even have that.

His thoughts floated on top of one another, blending together in dissonance until they became one.

There's no point to this.

He couldn't stop himself from thinking it.

What if I just... disappeared?

Who would notice?

The door opened. Jaehyun walked in, hesitating when he saw Renjun's face.

"So."

He walked towards the bed and flopped down on his back next to Renjun. They stared up at the ceiling together until Jaehyun rolled over on his side, facing Renjun. He ran his hands through the younger boy's hair. Renjun closed his eyes, sighing.

Jaehyun opened his mouth. "Nothing comes that easily, does it?"

Renjun lay there, mute.

"Taeyong seems like he's worse than you, actually. He's crying in the living room right now. He's so scared of losing you now that he knows, Junnie." Jaehyun paused. "And so am I."

"Why do you even bother?" The words were barely a whisper.

They echoed in the room, surrounding them with heavy silence when they faded.

And in that second, Jaehyun felt himself break.

So! It was short bc I haven't had time to write much, but I wrote as much as I could get down in what I have. I didn't tell you guys the real reason I haven't been writing much- it's not just that I don't have the time. 

I've been a little depressed for quite some time now. It's really hard to get inspiration when it feels like my world is dark. I used to use this story to get out my sadness, but that doesn't always work anymore. It's been taking a lot of effort to plan out entire chapters. I'm just doing bits and pieces, and trying to plot everything out beforehand now. Some days I just don't feel up to writing a story. It just takes too much out of me. So please don't think badly of me if I don't update very often. I don't have the mental capacity to write entire chapters like I used to.

Please wait for me.

~LUX