The Arrangement

23

Taehyung had barely managed to swallow when Jungkook moaned out above him.

"Tae."

Taehyung pulled off of Jungkook and froze. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to think.

The seconds ticked by as Taehyung remained kneeling on the ground, afraid to look up.

"Fuck," Jungkook said at last. "Fuck, V. I am so sorry." He hastily pulled his pants up before scouring the floor for his shirt.

Taehyung handed it to him, still unmoving. Still shocked.

Jungkook moaned his name.

Jungkook, the boy who tore his heart into pieces and said his love was vile, moaned his name.

"I'm confused," Taehyung said honestly, standing to his full height. "I'm really fucking confused, Jungkook."

The younger flitted his eyes to Taehyung's before landing on the door.

"You're not going anywhere," Taehyung said, understanding Jungkook's desire to flee.

Hands knotted into Jungkook's hair. "I'm not a good person, V. I try really hard to be. But I'm not."

Taehyung moved on shaky legs to sit on his bed. "What makes you say that?"

"I . . . I can't . . . " Jungkook paced back and forth, his knuckles turning white in his hair. "You're going to hate me, V. Oh, god, it's all coming back."

The boy squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his head tighter.

Taehyung spoke softly. "You owe me an explanation, Kook."

He didn't say that as V. Jungkook didn't owe V anything.

He said that as Taehyung. The boy he abandoned years ago.

Jungkook looked at him finally, deep pain evident in his eyes. It hurt Taehyung to see him like this, but he didn't reach out to comfort him. He needed to hear Jungkook's confession before he decided his next step.

"I'm a bad person, V," Jungkook repeated again. "I am weak, easily persuaded, and cowardly. I thought I could lock away that part of myself, could lock away what I did. But it's all resurfacing now and fuck, it hurts so much."

He sat down next to Taehyung. "I once had this friend. Best friend."

Taehyung's heart started racing. "Oh?"

"He was my everything. We had been friends for years, growing up and learning about life with each other. And as I got older, I started to care more and more for him."

Jungkook took a deep breath. "He was the first guy I ever liked. I knew I was bi because of him."

Taehyung's mouth went dry. Even if he wanted to say something, he didn't have any words.

"I wasn't sure at first, but I thought he liked me, too. But we never really talked about what or who we were attracted to, so I was afraid to tell him how I felt. Apparently, though, his parents knew how we both felt."

Jungkook paused as he heard Taehyung's breath hitch.

"His parents weren't good people, V," Jungkook continued. "They were drunk most of the time and they were always angry. They liked to take their anger out on my friend, emotionally abusing him all the time. I think I was the only thing that helped him hold on for as long as he did."

Taehyung nodded in agreement, but to Jungkook it just looked like a nod of understanding.

Jungkook continued, "I don't know how they found out about either of our feelings, considering their lack of interest in my friend. Maybe they saw the way we looked at each other. But somehow they knew. And god, V, these were some of the most homophobic people I've ever met. Combine that with how drunk they got . . . it wasn't good. So one day, when I went to see him, they cornered me."