Existing (under editing)

Chapter 12*

I fell back on to the bed resting my hands over my eyes after Alma disappeared. What a sad sob I was. I couldn't ask Alma to leave everything behind just for me. I won't let her. She belongs here, where it's safe. My heart lurched at the feeling of leaving. But I can't imagine a day without her now. My feelings for her had grown dramatically. The little things I found love and joy in where all from her. It wasn't just friendship for anymore. When she smiles my heart drops. When she says my name it makes me feel happy. The aura around her, it's so pure and untainted. My whole world would collapse without her. She's a special kind of person, and she makes me want to be a better person for her. To be worthy. But in all the little actions she does, she has no idea how they make my feelings grow more and more. When she plays with my hair or hugs me innocently, anytime I can feel her touch... I just... I've never felt like this before. Forget manliness and pride, with her, I know she's nearby her signature sent of lavender and it makes me weak at the knees and is intoxicating.

An image of my family came into my mind. My Mum, Dad and sister. Sitting at the table laughing. A rare thing but that's why I held a memory like this dear to my heart. This was the last time I had seen them that way. With Dad gone and me expected to be dead who knows what they're going through. Without someone there to protect them. To help earn their keep. Were they starving? Getting punished for my actions? Was Mum crying? What of my sister? Does she have to work twice as much with Mums' bad back? Who knew what was happening. I had to get them out, everyone, but how?

As I contemplated in my head the dilemma I had caught myself in between my heart and mind, I started to bob off. Going in and out of consciousness, I eventually fell into a sleep. I felt Alma join me a while later. Pulling a light sheet over us as she snuggled in next to me. No idea how my feelings grew for her even more.

I went to get up. In my daze I had followed her up here earlier and she hadn't minded but this was her room and it felt private as she had never asked for me to come up here before.

"No," she said with a hand on my chest pulling me back down by my collar gently. "Stay with me tonight, please."

I lay back down slowly, eyes staring up into the dark as she leaned in, resting her head on my chest. Her warmth comforting. After a long silence and I had almost fallen asleep again she spoke quietly.

"I want to come with you." she said.

"Alma-"

"I need answers, Lucas. I talked to the wolf today. She said Mother and Father where supposed to come back. They weren't supposed to leave me here. What if they are there with your family?

"And what if they aren't Alma?"

"At least I did something then." she sighed.

I had nothing left to use to keep her here. What could I say? Do it for me, do it for me because... I have really fast developing feelings for you? That sounded really lame, did she even now what romantic feelings where? She probably had an idea of what a relationship was. Her mother and father had had one. But did she understand the feelings behind it. The longing a person can have to find confidence in another. The longing I had for her.

After a while I fell asleep listening to the soft hum of her breath as she slept besides me. Wishing this moment could last forever and tomorrow never comes knowing we are safe and together here in this little piece of heaven left on earth.

***

I woke up with a yawn, siting up, stretching my stiff muscles. Looking around to see the empty space where Alma should have been. Her room in the light was how I expected. Green and wonderful. Paintings on the wall and the forest joining us in her cabin as well with the top of the tree growing here. Why would she want to leave all this behind? She had it good. She was safe. She could live properly. I herd things clang and clutter below. She looked up to see me approach down the ladder. She was packing two large hiking packs.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Supplies, cloths, sleeping hammocks and bags, everything we need basically." she said zipping up the last one, lifting it and measuring the weight. "I've always had one packed in case of emergencies, Father made sure of it."

I nodded, taking it all in. She was wearing shoes for once, real hiking boots with socks sticking out the top. I could tell her frowning was for them. The memory of the day long debate about socks still brought chuckling to my mouth. She ended up winning but then adding how the only purpose was to make wearing "horrible shoes comfortable", which I one the debate on shoes which she half agreed after a while. But it was still strange to see her wearing both here in front of me. Just her whole outfit. Tight fitting pair of pants, a sort of bronzed colour, the cut showing off her hips, making her seem taller. A black elbow length top with her hair braided over to the side showing her delicate neck. She no longer looked like a young girl as she did in her little sun dresses she always wears, but a confident young woman, ready and prepared for a journey.

"What are you staring at?" she blushed, picking up her pack and handing me two large containers, I shook my head, unaware I had been looking for too long, and a little embarrassed she had caught me. "Fill these up and get dressed, everything is ready I just have to go pick up something."

She was off, the bag looking huge on her, I laughed as it contradicted the image I just had of her, making her look elf like to the giant thing. I did as I was told, filled the containers, tying one to my bag with the little rope attachment, got dressed and sat out on the porch waiting. I decided to rush around the back to retrieve the small axe, thinking we might need it, hoping I didn't have to use it.

She returned within the hour. A small wolf pup tailing behind her, the one with the floppy ears to the side. All she said was his name was Hunter and had smiled and walked off with the awkward pup tilting its head to me. It sniffed the air and almost fell. Rolling over and giving a little jump before following after Alma.

After we locked everything up and covered majority of the cabin with branches and such so it would be camouflaged, we met Pepper at the tunnel, sitting with his own little doggy pack strapped to his back. He was engaged in silent conversation with the bird from the other day.

"Hello Morin," Alma waved. After brief conversation it was time to go.

Pepper and Hunter went ahead of us; Peppers sneeze echoing through the tunnel. I turned to Alma and held her hand. She turned back to the forest taking one last look, then looking me once more, she nodded.

"Ok let's do this," and we stepped into the black.