— 2019.11.27
Do you ever feel like you don't belong anywhere?
I feel like I don't belong anywhere else.
Not even with my family or friends.
Not even to God.
I don't feel like I'm worthy.
I feel like I don't deserve anyone.
I don't deserve my family and my friends.
I can't find my worth even how much I tried to.
I can't love myself enough.
But even how much I wanted to end my nonsense life, even if how many times I already thought about doing it, I still can't.
I am selfish. So selfish.
But for the sake of the people around me, I still can't end my life.
I'm still afraid of God or the great uncertainty of death.
Even though I'm so curious about what happens after this life, my fear of the unknown is overpowering my curiosity.
