Whatever Happens |Kyman • Stenny • Creek|

Chapter 30: Let The Tears Roll On

"I saw the glimmer of a silhouette; the part of me that died had just come back; empty visions in a parking lot; I spent my whole life lying, I just got caught."

~Kenny's POV~

Sunday (Week 5)

It's a pretty cold and sunny afternoon, and Stan and I are sitting at Stark's Pond. He was texting someone on his phone while I looked out at the mountains in the landscape. Kyle and Cartman are hanging out together somewhere. They probably went to see a movie, but they promised we'd all meet up soon to hang out.

I finally looked over at Stan who was still typing. "Who are you texting?" I wondered. He looked up for a second and stopped typing. "I'm texting Butters right now. He's kind of...in a bad place right now." He answered. Stan continued typing his long message to Butters. It looked like he was upset about something based on how frantically Stan was typing.

"Shit, what's wrong with Butters?" I wondered, pivoting my body toward Stan. Stan sighed and sent the message out to him. He then turned the screen off and looked at me. "You remember how you weren't around for a while when we were kids?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders and maintained eye contact with him. "I've died dozens of times, Stan. You'll have to be more specific." I said back. Stan let out another sigh and thought for a minute.

"It was that time when you were in the hospital and you didn't really get a chance to see me. It happened around the time stem cell research was being banned." Stan specified. I nodded, remembering which incident he was referring to.

"Well after you died, we made Butters...kind of your replacement. We took him under our wing and hung out with him a lot. But then one day, we randomly decided we didn't want him to be the fourth guy in our group and dumped him."

I gasped after he finished explaining. "W-Why would you just dump him like that!? Stan, he's like a brother to me, dude." I shouted. Stan wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I know, I know. For some reason, we just felt really bad about it last night. After Butters went home, the three of us started a group conversation with him to try and set things right. We really fucked him up, Kenny." Stan was shedding tears one after the other at this point.

Stan went back on his phone to show us the group message they were in last night. He scrolled down to where Butters sent them a long message. I held his phone and read what he wrote.

(12:29 am - Butters) thanks, but I swore off of having close friends a long time ago fellas. I'll hang out with you guys as if we're close friends, but I'm done being the reliable friend. It always backfires on me and I'm sick of getting hurt and I'm sick of crying all the time. I'm done being the guy who's manipulated into doing something I normally wouldn't do just for someone else's personal gain. I'm more than happy for you to acknowledge my presence when we hang out, but don't look at me as you did when we were kids. I'm not the same trusting person I used to be. In fact, you can just pretend I'm not even there. That's basically what it's turned into now. No one talks to me unless they're making fun of me anyway. Don't bother trying to convince me and change who I've become. You guys already did enough damage to my personality.

I almost collapsed as I read through this. I know this happened like eight years ago when they were in fourth grade, but this shit is harsh. Stan had his face buried in his knees which were held against him tightly.

"So that explains why he's been acting so weird..." I concluded, looking out into the distance.

Stan uncovered his face and looked at me. "He basically said he doesn't even want friends anymore. After realizing how good of a friend he really was back then, I...oh god, Kenny. I just can't."

"There's really no need to cry like this, Stan." I told him. "Whatever happened happened. Butters' mind seemed to be made up already, so there isn't much we can do." I sounded pretty cold when I said that, but I don't know if Butters would even be open to making close friends again. Based on how everyone is reacting, it must have been pretty bad.

"You don't get it, Kenny. We really fucked up with him. If he's telling me all this, I can't even imagine how he's really feeling. Haven't you noticed he didn't really say much when high school started? He's afraid of letting people in. I...I need to fix this somehow."

Looking at Butters as a close relative, I realized Stan may be right. Plus, I can partially be to blame for this. If I had just taken care of myself, I wouldn't have ended up on my death bed and Butters wouldn't be this hurt. They used to make him do fucked up shit back then, and I can only assume they did that even when he was the fourth guy in the group. Volunteering him to do stuff he'd fear would get him grounded and whatnot.

Maybe it would be a good thing for me to help them make things right with Butters.

"If it makes you feel better, I'll help you guys out. I don't think Butters is pissed off at me, so maybe he'll listen to me." I told Stan. He wiped away the remains of his tears and smiled. "Thanks, Kenny. You're awesome." He said back.

I looked back out at the pond and mountains behind it. I felt Stan lean closer to me and plan a kiss on my cheek. "I love you." Stan said with a smile. Aw. He finally said it.

"You finally said it." I pointed out with a wide smile. Stan looked away with a blush. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"So this means you're out of the closet and that you're going to break up with Wendy."

"Oh, fuck you, Kenny. Stop making me blush." Stan demanded. "But yes, all of that is true."

I kissed Stan on the lips after he looked at me again. "I love you too, Stan." I said back.

"I spent the summers catching fireflies; the part that flickered bright had just now died; my innocence stopped making sense; I've got no place left to hide."

"The streetlights sing but the flashlights won't bring you home; where were you when I needed you the most?"