Savior {Billie Eilish}

Chapter 5

[Harlow]

We walk back into the backstage area. I take a deep breath and wipe my tears with my sleeves.

Billie and I start walking back to the dressing room. We pass Denzel, Billie's opening act.

   "Yo, Billie!" He calls, running up to us.

   I take a couple steps back, eyes on the ground.

   I've learned to stay out of the way when other people are talking or hanging out. It usually doesn't end well for me if I'm in their way.

   I try not to eves drop, but something catches my attention.

   "I'm so sorry to do this to you, but I have to go." Denzel states.

   "What? Go where?" Billie replies, confusion clear in her voice.

   "Home. My mom is sick... stage 3 breast cancer. I have to be with her."

   My eyes widen and I glance up at them, the same expression on Billie's face.

   "Oh my god! Dude, go! Go be with her." She says, hugging him tightly.

   "My flight is tonight... who are you going to have open for you? Next show is in two days." He reminds.

"Uh... I'll have Finneas open until we can find an opener." She states confidently. Though, I think Finneas would say otherwise. He's going to be so tired after every show because he has 2 full sets.

"Okay, cool. Hope you find someone soon!" He says, walking off.

"Me too." She murmurs, walking back towards me.

"What the fuck am I gonna do?" She says, probably to herself, a small tic causing her head to slightly lean to the side for a second and the straighten back out.

We start walking again and soon, we're in a room with the rest of the O'Connell family and her manager. Maggie looks up at the sound of the door and she smiles softly at her daughter.

"Umm... so I have bad news." She announces, gaining everyone's attention. All eyes are trained on her.

"Denzel is leaving tonight. He can't finish the tour." She breaths out.

"What? Why!?" Brandon asks, his voice raising with each word. I instinctively cower behind Billie slightly.

   "Yo, chill out. His mom has cancer. He wants to be with her." She explains calmly.

   "What the fuck are we gonna do now?" He booms. I squeeze my eyes shut, grabbing onto the back of Billie's shirt like a child, feeling safe in her presence. She looks back at me as her face turns to worry.

   "I don't know but the first thing we're going to do is calm the fuck down!" She yells back.

   "Alright... I'll just call some people, maybe call Jared and see if he could do it." He says, switching to a calmer voice and walking out of the room.

   As soon as Brandon leaves, Billie turns around, her shirt falling from my grip. She gives me a soft smile before engulfing me in a hug.

   "I'm sorry about him. He can get... a little much."

   "It's okay."

   "If you're hungry or thirsty, there's a vegan food table over there." She says, pointing to the back of the room. I nod as a thank you as her and Maggie leave the room, most likely to sort shit out with Brandon.

I silently make my way to the table and grab an empty reusable water bottle and fill it with filtered water. I screw the lid on and sit down on the couch, taking a sip from it.

"You don't talk a lot do you?" Finneas asks jokingly. I blush and look down, a small smile creeping onto my face.

"No, not really..." I reply timidly.

   "You're not going back to him, are you?" He asks out of the blue. I look back up at him, a little shocked.

"I don't want too, but... I might have to." I sigh.

"Why?"

"He's all I have left." I whisper, tears pricking my eyes.

It was true.

5 years ago, when I was 13, my parents and I were driving to go get ice cream. It was a big day.

   "I'm so proud of you, sweetie!" My mom chirped from the front seat.

   I smiled, thinking about how my competitive cheer team had just won state.

   We were going to meet my teammates at Dairy Queen for celebratory ice cream.

   But we never made it there.

   Instead, we went to the hospital because a drunk driver was driving in the wrong lane and hit us head on.

   Everyone in the accident was killed. The drunk driver. Their passenger. My parents. The teenage girl in the car that my dad accidentally swerved into, trying to avoid the oncoming car.

   Except for me.

   I was the lucky one.

   But was it luck?

   Am I lucky to have lost my parents instead of me?

   After that, I spent my life in foster home after foster home. I had no extended family. All four grandparents had passed away. Both of my parents were only children, so I didn't have any aunts or uncles. I dont have any older siblings. Only younger.

   My baby sister.

   We got split up in the foster system and I haven't seen her in 4 years.

   She's 14 now. Her birthday was only a few months ago. I wonder if she was ever adopted.

   I was in between foster homes on my 18th birthday. I ended up being kicked out on to the street and the only place I could go was Alex's house. He welcomed me and let me move in with him.

   I would've looked for my sister and tried to get custody of her when I aged out, but I knew my situation was not good for a teenage girl.

Alex probably wouldn't have wanted her in the house, anyway.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry I- I didn't mean to make you upset. I'm just worried for you." Finneas stammers as a tear falls down my cheek.

Suddenly, Billie comes back in and takes one glance at me before glaring at Finneas.

"I was gone for 2 minutes and you already made her cry!?" She grumbles, walking towards me.

"I didn't mean too!" He defends.

She sits down next to me and wipes my tear away.

"I'm really sorry that I keep crying. I swear I don't usually cry this much."

"It's okay, love. It's been a hard day. We're just about to leave for the hotel. You can share a room with Finneas and I, yeah?" She asks. I give her a warm smile and nod.

"Thanks."