FALLING AROUND YOU ➵ DANIEL SEAVEY ➵ SEQUEL

19 ➵ One Last Chance

We headed off just walking on the side walk. Neither of us knew where to begin with the conversation as I opened my mouth to speak multiple times, but didn't have the heart to say anything. I could tell Daniel was a bit flustered too. His fingertip brushed against each other like how they usually did when he was nervous. I'm guessing it was because of his history with instruments. He never felt nervous when play a tone on one, so rubbing his fingers together would mimic the feeling of a cello or a guitar in them. It was almost like a ghost feeling. 

Neither of us were walking to a direct location as we were each following each other. I shifted my gaze from the anxious boy to the clouds up top. Everyone praised sunsets or sunrises, but they ignore the beauty of clouds. Just seeing the clouds drift past us makes me feel so small, but I don't mind. It makes me feel safe. 

I noticed that we were slowly heading towards a park. Neither of us knew we would end up here, but I don't think we minded much. Daniel sat on a bench a few moments later and I copied his motions. 

"Sienna," this was the first time he finally spoke since our journey to the park. "I'm just having trouble understanding. Why are you here?"

I couldn't ignore the burning of his words. It made me feel so unwanted, so fragile. I felt my posture stiffen. "I told you at the airport. I came back to see you."

It was mostly true. I did need to come back to sort things out with Mr. Gray, but I wouldn't have come back solely for that purpose. Daniel had always been the reason pushing me back. 

"Why now?"

"Why not?" I fired back.

I could tell that both of us were getting frustrated. God, I hated arguing with him, but it seems that's all we've been doing recently. I missed the old us. I missed when we would take little trips to the beach or when he tried to teach me how to surf. I miss the fancy dinners that ended the night with us ordering pizza and watching a movie instead. 

I walked down memory lane so often because I loved running into him. 

I closed my eyes for a moment. "I still love you, okay? I still love you and it's hard. It's so hard, Daniel. Can't you see? I thought I needed to get over you because I lost my career over you. The only way I could pretend to get over you was to pretend that I hated you. For a little while, I thought it worked, but it didn't. It never did.

"I can't believe I blamed you for it. How selfish? How foolish could I have been? I wrote my feelings for you all the time, and you wrote one song. Looking back, it all felt so hypocritical," I kept my vision down. 

There was a pause. I'm sure he didn't know what to say, so I continued. "Are you with her? And, I mean really with her. Are you dating Marie for management or for yourself?" 

I finally looked at him– speechless and quivering. He nodded his head slowly as I couldn't look his direction any longer. "I don't get you anymore, Sienna. You don't want me to be with you, but you don't want me to be with someone else. How miserable do I have to be before you're happy?"

I felt my heart burn more. A fire was building in my chest, and I wasn't sure what to do. "It was never up to me, Daniel." I felt as though I was repeating that phrase over and over again, but I was so sickly fed up with blaming other people. I needed to take responsibility for the disaster I had caused in our relationship.

"I've been a mess, I know. I just wanted to let you say that I still care. When I leave, that's it. I don't know when I'll see you again or if I'll see you again. I mean, it was a whole year from the first time I saw you again. Do you really think things would be any different than they were after our first separation?"

I wasn't going to tell him, but this was the last chance. If I leave this week, I'm going to aid the broken heart and label Daniel nothing more than my first love. I would go out in the world, maybe a bit broken for little, but cease my love life with a new relationship in the future – a new start. This was the last chance for any chance of there being an us. 

Daniel tried understanding my words. I could tell there were a million different things he wanted to say, but couldn't. "She really needs me right now, Sienna. Her mom died a few months ago, so her sister is moving in with her now. She's an orphan now, Sien. I can't just leave her to pursue you when we've never worked in the first place."

I understood although the crushing in my chest felt a bit harder this time. I didn't even had time to even be polite. I just blurted, "Are you with her because you love her or are you with her because you pity her?" 

Quickly, I put my hands to my mouth a bit surprised with my words. How could I have been so insincere? Marie and Valerie's mother died, but the only thing I could think about what if Daniel's relationship with her was built off of nothing, but condolences. He stayed quiet for a bit thinking of my words. Just by the look on his face, I knew he didn't love her. It might have been quite blunt, but it was true. 

If you love someone, you know. The fact that he stayed silent was enough of an answer. I could only wonder how fast their relationship flourished since I've been gone. I guess I'll never know. Quietly, I stood up and brushed any dust that had gotten on my dress from the outdoors. Daniel was still speechless, but staring at me anyway. I gave a sad smile. I knew I should feel worse, but another part of me was prepared for this moment. 

It was the last chance, and we failed. 

I was about to leave Daniel with his thoughts until I turned around. "I still love you, Dani. Always. I don't know why, but I always thought it would be you I ended up with. I know we've been through so much, and there were so many fights and arguments, but for some reason I always thought it would work." 

Daniel has always been loyal, so it didn't surprise me much when he would stay by Marie's side. It hurt still, yes, but my heart would go one. In this moment, I only had one care, and it was that Daniel would find love within her. I only hoped that Marie would be a silent blessing, but only time could tell. 

I shrugged my shoulders as they sagged down once more, "Truly, I hope she treats you better. I hope she makes your heart race, your cheeks redden, your speech falter. I hope you find love in her that we couldn't find in us. I'll miss you."

With that, I was gone. 

I told myself I wouldn't look back, and I hated myself because I did. He looked right back at me and for a moment I wanted so badly for him to run up to me and pull me in his arms, but he didn't. I would still be okay. I would still go out and live my life and he would live his. We would soon become nothing but a stale memory in each other's minds, but I couldn't help that burning in my chest. 

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hello! i'm sorry that this chapter took so long, but i've been focusing a lot more on school and my extracurriculars! i've also gotten back to my love of reading which is great, so if any of you want to read an amazing series, i would recommend "THE SELECTION". I finished the first three books in three days, and it's easily become one of my favorites. i just wanted to say that i'll try and update more frequently, and the next chapter will be a more cheery one, i promise! thank you guys again for the support! much love, always.