Lady Vampire Knight (Vampire Knight Fanfiction)

Chapter 69: Sorry

Yagari caught my eye, and guilt? clouded in his blue eye. He beckoned me into the house, still talking to Mum. I daresay Mum recovered pretty quickly from the initial hysterics.

"Thank you for driving Saki back," she was saying to the other hunter. "You've helped me so much, especially when you kept an eye on Saki for me. I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything," Yagari reassured her. "I owe you my life." Mum's face broke into a smile. All of a sudden, she seemed ten years younger.

"It was a long time ago," she beamed. "Really, you should just forget about it. It was the council's fault anyway."

"Perhaps," Yagari didn't sound completely convinced. "But one good turn deserves another." This time, I couldn't help but stare at him. Since when was he that philosophical?

"Are you two hungry?" Mum finally included me in the conversation. "I have some sandwiches - and blood tablets as well."

Yagari accepted the offer of sandwiches, going into the kitchen, while I shrugged, mumbling something about not being very hungry. Mum frowned at me slightly, her brow creased.

"You look a bit skinnier than normal, Saki," she commented. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," I protested weakly, deciding it was time to escape. "I'll go and put my bags away now." I hurried upstairs with my bags in tow.

It was nostalgic coming back into my room. Teddy bears sat in one corner of the room, staring aimlessly ahead on the armchair, and book were stacked neatly in the small bookshelf I had in the corner of my room. 

"I'm back," I murmured, reaching out to my biggest teddy bear, Queenie. Her soft, woolly nose bumped against my cheek as I buried my face into her fur, remembering her smell and softness.

A small breeze rustled through the window, lifting the curtains aside. As it did, I thought I saw a small black shape fly off the windowsill. Was I seeing things?

As I placed Queenie back on her seat on the armchair, a sudden feeling settled in. My legs gave way and I fell to the floor gasping. I was so thirsty suddenly, so hungry. Red began to cloud my eyes, while I desperately craved...blood. Everywhere I looked, it was covered in red. I could feel the desperation taking over my mind, filtering out every other thought, until all I could think of was blood.

So hungry.

In the midst of my madness, some logical part of my mind was asking why. Why was I acting like a Level E? I already drank the blood of the pureblood who bit me. What was wrong with me?

Blood. I need blood. I was so thirsty. Pictures flashed into my mind. Mum and Yagari. They would be sitting in the kitchen, eating sandwiches, completely unaware.

They're completely vulnerable. If you're quick enough, they wouldn't feel any pain, and you can get the meal you want.

My legs began to stumble towards the doorway. Just down the stairs, turn left, and into the kitchen. A meal would be waiting for me right there. I wouldn't have to be hungry anymore.

No. No. That was wrong. I couldn't attack them. Stop it. My mind and body fought for control, but it was hard. Even when I tried to regain myself, my legs would continue moving. I was almost at the bottom of the stairs. Just another 10 metres - No. I can't attack them. I can't kill them. 

Fighting myself was so hard. It was tiring and painful too, to have to try and subdue yourself. Tears streamed down my cheeks, giving me the realisation that I was crying. What for?

Well, you are about to attack your mum and teacher, a voice told me snidely. So you're going to be upset, but it's okay. It's for your own good. You're that hungry.

Hearing the voice only made my tears come out faster, cascading down like a waterfall.

"Saki?" Mum appeared at the doorway, her face only just visible through the red haze. "Oh gosh." She backed away slowly, while I advanced upon her, unable to control my movements.

I'm so hungry.

"Shina?" Yagari appeared in the red haze this time. "What - Oh, Saki." Hearing the shock and horror in their voices, and seeing the expressions on their faces made me feel even worse, but I was so thirsty.

I shuddered, trembling as I tried to stay still, trying to find some sanity in my mind. Just anything to stop myself. My nails dug into my palm, as I desperately tried to find my way out of the red haze. Then blood filled my senses. Blood trickled down my hand, leaking out of a cut I had dug with my own nail. 

It was like the blood made me lose control. With a strangled sob, I lunged at Mum, my fangs bared and dying for blood. But something stopped me.

"Saki," arms wrapped around me from behind. "Stop it." I recognised the voice, and hearing it only made me cry harder.

Another problem to add to your sorrows.

"Saki," Mum's cool hand settled on my forehead. "I have some blood tablets here." The red haze was slowly ebbing away, little by little, as though something had made it retreat. I could vaguely see Mum crouch before me, while her finger pushed something into my mouth. A small capsule. A blood tablet. 

Even though I knew it would taste horrible, I swallowed it. If it meant eating it would make me not attack anyone, then I would take a million of them.

"What are you doing here, Ichiru?" Yagari asked the person behind me sternly. Ichiru's grip around my waist loosened.

"The door was unlocked so I let myself in," he said, though it was hardly an answer to the question. "But I think it was just as well that I did."

"You know what I mean," Yagari growled in reply. "Why did you come here?" Ichiru's arms released me fully, as he sat back on the ground.

"I was looking for someone," Ichiru replied, sounding annoyed. "Does that answer your question?"

"No," Yagari replied promptly. "Who are you looking for?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I had a bad feeling about this. "I was looking for Saki."

"Why?" I asked this time, before Yagari could say anything. "Why were you looking for me?" I forced myself to look up at him, to look at his earnest face.

So earnest that he could break your heart truthfully.

"Can we talk about it outside?" Ichiru seemed almost pleading. "I've been wanting to talk to you for a while after... you know." I was silent. I really didn't want to be alone with him, scared of what he would say.

"You can go outside," Mum spoke at last, rising to her feet. "We won't disturb you." Yagari looked ready to protest, but Mum shot him a quick glance, stopping him, but he looked rather unhappy about it.

"Please don't run off like last time," Ichiru pulled me by the hand out of the front door. "You run too fast for me to catch up with you."

I'm a vampire, what do you think?

"You're not going to say anything are you?"

Well, what do I say to you?

"Please, Saki, just say something, anything!"

The sky's blue.

"Please?" I admit it, the hopelessness in his voice made me give in.

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to say-"

"Don't," I held up a hand. "I know you want to say you're sorry, and I get it. I'm sorry, too."

I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble.