broken ghosts

part twenty-six

"I'm not-" you started, but the way this felt like a lie on your tongue made you realize you weren't fooling anyone. "I- I don't think I can make it happen, Namjoon. It's not that easy."

He sighed, shaking his head slightly.

"Why does he have to be the one who makes the first move ?"

"I never said-"

"Then what ?" he cut you off, "You're gonna wait for the relationship to start without any of you doing anything ?"

You looked down, feeling a lump in your throat as your eyes started watering. You hated that Namjoon had to raise his voice against you.

"Come on, Y/N," he said after a few seconds, his voice way softer, "What are you scared of ?"

"Rejection."

A tear escaped your eyes and you wiped it quickly, not allowing yourself to be weak in front of Namjoon.

"Look at me," he said quietly and you did as told, locking eyes with him. "Do you actually think he would reject you ?"

"I don't know," you whispered, blinking away the few tears that threatened to fall from your eyes, "Maybe he realized he was better off without me. Maybe he loves Soyeon more than he loved me."

He didn't answer immediately, lying down on the grass to look at the sky. You lay down next to him, waiting for him to say something, anything, that could reassure you.

"You know," he started slowly, "He is probably as scared as you. And even if I haven't talked about that with him, I can tell you he would never in a million years reject you."

You stayed silent and he turned his head towards you, waiting for you to look at him before speaking again.

"You'd have to be blind to miss the way you both look at each other. There's no reason to be scared, Y/N."

-

When Taehyung opened the door of his apartment, you were waiting there, fidgeting. He didn't notice the nervous expression on your face although you almost seemed frightened.

"Y/N ! What are you doing here ?" he asked as he quickly hugged you.

"I came to talk to Jungkook," you let out quietly, your stomach twisting as the words left your mouth.

Taehyung's smile faded a little as a flicker in his eyes showed you he knew exactly why you were here.

"He is in his room, come in," he said, his voice softer now, stroking your back as you stepped inside as if to give you some strength.

He called Jungkook while following you to the living-room, giving you encouraging smiles every time your eyes met each other. You sat on the couch, your heartbeat increasing with every second passing.

When Jungkook arrived and saw you seating here looking uneasy, he glanced at Taehyung and it seemed they were having a silent conversation, while you stayed there watching.

"I have to see Jimin for something, don't wait for me for dinner Jungkook," Taehyung eventually said hurriedly as he started getting ready to leave, Jungkook nodding without a word.

Once Taehyung had left the apartment and your focus went back on Jungkook, waves of anxiety came crashing in your body and you honestly thought for a second you were going to faint right then and there. He sat next to you on the couch and suddenly, you felt like an eight years old being alone with her crush for the first time. It didn't feel good.

"So, what did you want to talk about ?" he said carefully.

You managed to smile slightly and his comforting doe eyes looking at you calmed you down a little.