(this was a request so there is a official name for (y/n) feel free to change it :)
— season 4 —
I flinched slightly feeling blood seep into my fingernails from digging into my skin as I stared at myself in the dirty old mirror in my bunk.
It's still not enough, what am I doing wrong
I felt tears prick my eyes as my reflection stared back at me, but all I could truly focus on was my weight.
"Hey Kaiya you In there?"
I broke out of my trance and pulled my shirt back over my head, covering my body
The door opened slightly and I looked over
"Oh uh hey" I muttered slightly, Louis stood at the door, looking at me apprehensively "you okay?" He asked with a small smile on his face while he leaned against the door frame, you simply nodded in response
He stared at you for a few seconds before pulling his eyes away, "Uh the foods ready, better hurry if you wanna get a bowl"
I don't need it
I didn't answer him I just walked out of the room and down the hallway -
Shes not okay..
I watched as she walked down the hallway, somethings wrong, and I have to find out what it is.
~
I pushed my food around with my fork, playing with it slightly. Being picky wasn't something you wanna do when you're living in the apocalypse, but I wasn't picky, I just didn't need it, I had eaten enough. I could feel an intense gaze from the corner of my eye, and no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, I just couldn't.
I slowly made eye contact, of course it was Louis, he knew that something was up with me, but he hadn't had the guts to ask. He opened his mouth slightly, looking like he was about to confront me in front of everyone, before a small voice spoke up, cutting him off
"Are you gonna eat that?"
I looked over, meeting aj's small brown eyes "nah, you can have it" I mumbled with a small smile while pushing the bowl over to him
I got up and walked back too my room, I could feel everyone's eyes on me, considering that I wasn't the first time that I had refused to eat.
I could hear footsteps trying to catch up with me, and even though I tried to speed walk, that soon caught up with me
"Can we talk? Please?"
I knew it was Louis, I knew that he was worried, but I didn't know that he would try and talk to me about it.
"Yea.. okay"
~
I pushed the door of my room closed and took my hand off the handle, letting my hand slip down to my side.
"look, I- why-" he spoke abruptly but stopped himself, he had no idea how to ask.
It's not like it even mattered, a few skipped meals wasn't going to kill me, one less person too feed is a good thing.
"Why haven't you been eating? Are you sick? We can find meds-"
"I wasn't hungry" I cut him off, but knowing Louis that wouldn't be a good enough reason
"Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you" he spoke while taking a few steps forward towards me, I could tell he was trying to make a joke out of the situation, he was trying to lighten the mood the only way he knew how.
"Kaiya" he mumbled pleadingly
"I'm fine okay, I just I don't need it! Look at me!" I snapped at him, immediately regretting it after.
"You're beautiful"
what?
"Louis, my body it's-"
"Stop it, you're gorgeous inside and out, no matter what you look like. you've never been afraid to be yourself, or kick ass when you're outside of the safe zone"
I could feel myself slip away as he wrapped his arms around me, and my tears ran free.
"You are perfect, just the way you are"
——
! Authors Note !
If any of you ever feel like this don't be afraid to speak up and get help, feel free to message me if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be here to support you to the best of my abilities ♡
