Chapter 16 - Behind Enemy Lines

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Sanne texted me this morning, apparently, she's found the perfect place for us to meet up and work out what to do about the Cooper thing — all I have to do is get the other girls to show up, which is easier said than done.

I don't really know where I stand with the rest of the team after everything that's happened with Willow; it's weird to think that just a few weeks ago we were best friends and then something changed and she started hating me.

I need to figure out what to say to the girls, if I don't get it right then I could end up making things even worse than they already are, I decide to go for a walk to clear my head and get everything in order, before I know it I'm stood in the car park of the football club. I have no idea why I'm here, I don't really want to see Cooper or maybe I do — despite what's happened between us, I still feel some kind of loyalty towards him, he's a good coach and he used to be a good friend too.

Maybe I should talk this over with Cooper first, tell him what I heard and how they plan on getting rid of him if the results don't start getting better, maybe he will see sense and give me my captain's armband back — he loves this club as much as I do, I'm sure he'll do the right thing. That would mean me going behind Sanne's back, but does that matter? If we save the club then I've made the right decision. But at the same time I don't think Cooper deserves my help or sympathy, he brought this all on himself. 

Whichever option I choose will be the wrong one; I've grown accustomed to making the wrong decisions over the years. Maybe I could just knock on the door of his office, sit in the chair on the opposite side of his desk from him and have a chat how we used to — I think I would know if he had any idea of what's been going on and what they've been saying about him.

I don't even make it as far as Cooper's office; I can hear the raised voices from the other end of the corridor. It's Cooper and Willow. They're shouting and screaming at each other — maybe someone already told him that the shitty results are about to fuck up everything he's worked for. 

There's no way I'm going in there, not when she's in there with him. Knowing my luck, they'd forget about their argument with each other and start having a go at me. Instead, I walk around the club, through the bar, and the room where we sit and listen to Cooper spout his technical drivel before settling in the changing room; it's quiet in here, Cooper's office and their raised voices seem a million miles away from here, all the happy memories we shared in this changing room seem like a million years ago.

There won't be any cork popping and champagne spraying at the end of this season — I don't even know if I will make it to the end of the season. The way things are going this might be the last time I sit in this room and that makes me pretty sad. I love this club, I thought I'd be here forever, but everything has changed now.

I need to sort this mess out, I quickly make a WhatsApp group and add the girls, conveniently forgetting to add Willow — if anyone questions it, I can pretend it was an honest mistake.

"Team bonding. Let's meet at Myrtle's, the small pink building on the seafront, tomorrow evening at 8."

Some replies arrive instantly, the others slowly trickle in, maybe they've all realised the team is falling apart right before our eyes.

The door flies open and crashes loudly into the wall behind pulling me from my thoughts and ending the perfect solitude I'd found. Willow stomps in if I'd heard her footsteps in the corridor I'd have hidden, but I've got no chance now, I have to sit here and hope she doesn't see me. She's been crying, I can tell from the way she's sniffing — I don't care, she's a bitch. I watch her wash her face in the sink and when she checks her reflection in the mirror we make eye contact.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she asks. "Oh, I get it, this is all part of the plan, is it? You and him, Cooper," she says when I don't answer her.

"I just came to collect some stuff. I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know what, fuck him. Fuck Cooper. Typical man, can't face up to his own shortcomings, it's easier to blame someone else. He says it's my fault that we aren't winning, but I'm not the coach, I didn't tell him to make me captain. I quit. I fucking quit," she says and throws the captains armband at me.

I don't say anything to her and I don't move to pick up the armband that lay at my feet.

"This is your fault. I told you that you couldn't trust him. I told you that he wasn't the right person for you, what are we going to do? If the club folds it's on you. This is all on you, you need to sort it out." 

Willow just looks at me, but I don't know what she wants me to say. This isn't my fault and I don't think I can fix it.

"Speak to Cooper," she says before walking out.

Picking up the captains armband from the floor, I stand up and wait a few minutes before I leave the changing rooms, I want to make sure Willow has gone — that little interaction wasn't so bad, but to be honest, I don't want to run into her again. I stand outside Cooper's office for what seems like ages while I build up the courage to knock on the door.

"Yeah, come in," Cooper says.

"Hey," I say while sitting in the chair opposite him, I notice that he has a box in the corner of the room, half-filled with his stuff — I think he's already resigned himself to the fact that he's getting fired.

"What do you want Rose? Because if you're here for an argument you can just walk back out that door; I've had enough of hormonal women for one day."

"No, it's . . . here," I give him the armband. "I bumped into Willow, apparently, she quits."

"It's all gone to shit Rose, everything. It's all shit," Cooper says. "I don't know what we're going to do."

He doesn't know what we're going to do, the last thing I remember Cooper told me that it was his team, that there was no place for me — so I don't know what he expects us to do about this situation he's put us all in. "You can fix it, can't you?"

"I don't think I can fix anything Rose; it's over. Everything is done, I don't think there's any way back now."

I guess he's talking about the club. "Everything can be fixed," I say looking at him. "You just have to figure it out." We sit quietly for a few minutes. "I miss Jacob, a lot," I say to fill the silence, "like, I know it's for the best that I let him go, but sometimes doing the right thing is also the hardest thing, you know? Admitting that you made a mistake, it's hard, I get that."

"Yeah," is all Cooper says in response.

"You'll figure it out," I say. "Shall I keep this?"

Cooper looks at me and gives me a quick nod. Maybe talking him around and getting him to see sense will be easier than I first thought.

"Rose," Cooper says just as I am about to leave his office, "will you wear that on Saturday?"

"Yeah," I say and leave quickly. I don't want to hang around any longer, going behind enemy lines is harder than I thought it would be because I do feel sorry for Cooper and I do want us to work this out and everything to be okay. I want things to go back to how they used to be and if I stay any longer moving forward with my plan for life after the team and without Cooper will be even more difficult.

"We're good for tomorrow," I text Sanne.

"That's great, see you tomorrow," she replies.

I debate telling her about bumping into Willow and speaking to Cooper, but I don't know how she'll take it, I don't even know her that well; we've only just got passed the hating each other stage.

"Can we meet a little earlier? Maybe this might be a little easier than we thought, I'll tell you about it tomorrow."

In the end, my conscience gets the better of me, like, I'm fed up of drama and if I'm honest, I quite like Sanne, I don't want her to hate me again.

"Sure, I'll stop by the tea shop before closing, we'll walk to Myrtle's together."

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