Heart Murmurs ❥ chaelisa [HIATUS]

07

I opened the door and immediately closed it afterwards without going in. Why is this hospital have so many horny people? Like seriously? They can have sex all they want but I wish they would do it in their own house, own bed, no one to disturb you by opening the door or no one accidentally walking in while you're doing your "thing". I mean, how can I unsee what I have just seen? It feels like I have seen a ghost. Well, seeing a ghost is much better than seeing THAT. The hospital's on-call rooms are disgusting. You don't know what's been on the bed and I don't wanna know.

I turned around to look at Manoban and she has this I-wanna-puke face written all over her face. She's disgusted and so am I. I don't blame her. "Did I just see Chanyeol screwing with the nurse?" Manoban asked, almost puking out all of her words. Ah right, Chanyeol, my other intern. Why are my interns so... dumb? I need to remind myself to punish Chanyeol tomorrow or later. And he's screwing a NURSE. A nurse for goodness' sake! If she's his fellow intern, it would be not that bad but a nurse?! A nurse?! What if the director founds out? Why do interns keep doing dumb decisions? I wasn't like this when I was an intern. I wasn't dumb at all!

With a disgusted voice, I said, "I think so." I keep trying to forget what I just saw but Chanyeol banging the nurse keeps on flashing on my mind. I want to curse so bad but chose to not to. Why so many people nowadays are so horny? "Can I puke?" She asked, looking around to find a comfort room. And when she did find one, she turned around and almost broke her arm. She forgot that I'm still holding her wrist.

She faced me again with slight anger. "What the actual fuck is your problem?!" She said that in a whisper-angry like tone. She didn't want to scream for other people might think that she doesn't have any respect for her mentor. Smart girl.

Change of course. We're gonna go to my office. I started dragging her again but she keeps on resisting. It feels like I'm trying to make my lazy dog walk. I stopped walking then turned around to face her.

"Stop resisting." I said with venom in my voice as I tightened my grip on her wrist. She winced in pain but didn't talk back. Well look at that, she understands and listens... what a good dog, what a good girl. She knows how to listen afterall.

We went inside my office as I closed the door as silent as possible because most of the patients are asleep. I let go of her so she quickly pulled back, massaging her wrist. I know that it hurts but hey, she was pissing me off. So sorry, not sorry. It's her fault, not mine.

I crossed my arms as I stared at her coldly. As I stared at her so intensely, I noticed that the bags under her eyes were also worse like mine. We're both tired and I know that both of us just wants to sleep. We're both tired but why is she making this harder for the both of us? Doesn't she want this to get over with? We need sleep, we need rest but why is she like this?

"What? Are you just gonna stare at me all night? Fuck off. I don't have all night for your shits. You're wasting my time." She was about to move me out of the way to get to the door but I stopped her by pinning her against the wall swiftly.

"What's the rule number one about being a doctor?" I asked her again. Don't tell me that I will ask her this very same question every month because I don't have patience for that.

"You already told me this!" She said as she slapped my hand away from her shoulder. Uhm, ouch? The nerve of this intern. Maybe I should write a note to the director. A note saying, "Your daughter is disrespectful to her mentor. Did you really teach her manners?" or maybe, "Your daughter is hard to teach. Did she really graduate top on her class? Because it doesn't feel like it."

"I did but you keep ignoring it. Or maybe forgetting it." I said, not even trying to raise my voice at her even though she's shouting her lungs out. One thing I learned about being pissed or angry is to never raise your voice. The quote that I remember goes like this "Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder." And I agree.

"I did not forget. I do not forget." She said the last phrase like it meant something else but instead of being curious about it, I just ignored it.

"Seems to me you got attached to Mary though." She breathed in a sharp breath meaning that I was right. I rolled my eyes at her. This might take a while.

I started tapping her chest four times as I said, "Control your emotions before your emotions control you." I'm done preaching a dumb rock. I need my coffee so after I said that, I gave her one last cold look before opening the door and walking away.

I was about to close the door but she stopped it using her foot. She looked at me seriously and said, "I can control my emotions quite well. I don't need to hear it from you."

I frowned. Why is this girl so hard headed? "Are you sure about that? Because you remind me of someone I know." Me. You remind me of my past self. And I don't want that, I don't want you to turn like me. To make the mistakes I did because it will destroy you. It ain't pretty being a doctor, being me.

"I'm sure. Whoever that person is, that's not me and will never be me." She said it with so much sureness on her voice that annoys me a little. You're already turning like her though. I'm trying so hard to stop you but you're hard headed as ever. You only listen to yourself afterall.

I sighed. There's no way I'm winning this conversation when I'm talking to a close-minded person. I closed my eyes and started massaging my forehead. Talking to her is actually draining. Like really draining. I feel like my life source got sucked out. "Have it your way. Just prep Mary. I need coffee."

"What approach are you gonna do?" I opened my eyes and rolled it again. "Isn't it obvious? I'm gonna do an Annuloplasty." (Annuloplasty is done for a leaky valve. There is a ring of fibrous tissue at the base of the heart valve called the annulus. To repair an enlarged annulus, sutures are sewn around the ring to make the opening smaller. Or, a ring-like device is attached around the outside of the valve opening to support the valve so it can close more tightly.)

Before walking away to get my coffee, I said with an annoyed tone, "Keep doing this, Manoban, and I will take you off my service."

She's pissing me off because she reminds me of the old me and I don't want that. I don't want to remember the pathetic me. I don't want to, ever but it's hard because the more I look at her, the more I see myself. And it pains me.