Luke.
one week later.
I was on the couch with Ash, Michael and Cal as Sky took a shower.
She was healing well, her stitches would most likely come out next week and the following week we will start her on birth control to prevent this from happening again.
Just as we started talking about a patient that we all happened to share, Skylar entered with puffy eyes, catching all of our attention.
We knew what her puffy eyes meant.
"I want to talk" she spoke simply, dragging a chair into the middle of the living room, sitting in front of all four of us
"Okay" I spoke for each of us, all eyes on her.
"But I don't want any of you to say anything- I don't want you to apologize, I don't want hugs, I don't want sympathy- I just want you guys to be aware of how I feel in case something happens one day." She mumbled lightly.
She just wanted to talk.
"Talk, princess" Cal mumbled.
Her knee started bouncing as she stared to her hands.
"I hate myself" she spoke, instantly shattering my heart with the words, but no one said a word.
"I look in the mirror- and I don't see who I used to see, I don't see value anymore. I was used- I was used by a man that my mom trusted enough to make me live with him." A tear fell down her cheek.
"And no, he didn't rape me, but he did touch me- he touched me in ways that no one at all has ever touching me in, he kissed me, he hit me, he spoke to me and he did more things to me that are so fucking embarrassing to talk about." She almost cried out to us.
"And I used to love your interns and the guy nurses, I'd always hug them, I wasn't nervous for them to give me a check up if I need it, but now I literally struggle to let you guys listen to my fucking heart- and you're my dad and uncles" she cried, breaking my heart every second that I watched her sit there, breaking down to us.
"I can't even take my fucking shirt off in the mirror without crying, because even though they're gone, I feel like the hickeys are still there, I can still feel him grabbing me and kissing me and hurting me." She cried.
"And I hate myself so much for not talking to you when I first got bad signs" she sobbed, finally looking directly to me.
"I let this happen to me. I didn't lock the door, I didn't turn around when I heard him walk in, I wasn't strong enough to get him off of me." She cried, looking to the ceiling and wiping her tears slowly.
"I just want to start over- I want new skin, skin that he hasn't touched. I want my mom to be the mom she was a year ago- I want her to be on my side rather than her friends side" she cried out.
"I just-" she hiccuped, looking to all of us slowly
"I need help, I've needed it and I've tried to push it away, but it's all I can think about, I dream about it, every time I have to shower I cry, I just- I fucking hate myself." She sobbed to us.
"Skylar" I spoke calmly, trying not to break the rules she set for us, but yet wanting nothing but to grab her and hold her to me as tightly as I could without hurting her.
She looked to me.
"Come see us, princess- let us hug you, let us talk to you about this. Let's get past that embarrassment and help you. Let us help you figure out how to love yourself again." I spoke to her slowly.
She slowly stood, constantly hiccuping and she slowly moved to us, almost falling into my hold.
And we made a group hug.
The five of us holding each other as if we have never hugged each other before.
And we talked.
The five of us all took turn talking.
The four of us spoke to her
We talked about how corrupt the world was and how sorry we were that she had to figure that out at such a young age.
We assured her that we would never hurt her.
We assured her that we would put every ounce of our life into protecting her from this ever happening to her again.
And to finish tonight's talk, Michael carried her over his shoulder- her laughter radiating as he was careful of her stitches, but yet forcing her to go into the bathroom, where we sat her on her counter.
Not caring about the mirror, we each took Sharpies and wrote what we loved about her on the mirror
Dimples
Big, glossy eyes
Kindest heart around
Best hugs
Perfect cheekbones
Cute little nose
Perfectly placed freckles
Cutest laugh
Funniest jokes
Always looking to make someone smile
Strong
Caring
Beautiful all the way around
The warmest smile
Best cuddles
Best daughter
All made in God's image.
And that was just mine.
By the time we were done, the mirror was filled- but just around where she would stand to look at herself.
"What someone does to you, or what someone says to you does not define who you are or what your value is." Calum spoke to her, himself glancing around the mirror to read everyone else's.
"And we know it won't be instant, and it'll take help from all of us, but you will love yourself again" michael spoke calmly.
"You give too much love to not save enough for yourself"
