FALLING AROUND YOU ➵ DANIEL SEAVEY ➵ SEQUEL

18 ➵ One Piece of the Puzzle Aligned

This time would be different. I'm not pulling an extension on my expedition just because of him, not again. My apartment back in London has been tidied for my missing months by the kind cleaning ladies, but other than that, it's been untouched. I needed to go back to my old life. I needed my sanity back, and the life I've been leading right now was just full of havoc.

"London?"

"I was based there for a jump in my career during my first year in university," I explained. "I haven't been there in months because of my rambunctious trips back here in the states, but after this week, I feel like I just need that sense of familiarity again, you know? My life here has been to hectic. I just need to go back and settle into my routine, my old routine."

"I get it. That's the same reason I'm moving here to Los Angeles. These last couple of months have been passing, and I just need a sense of home again. I haven't felt that feeling in months," she admitted.

"You're moving to Los Angeles alone?"

She shook her head. "My sister, Mariella, lives here. We use to live back in Michigan, but she moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career last year and I headed to New York to live with my mom and my grandparents."

"Your mom didn't come with you?" I blabbered, but slowly realized I've talked too much. Valerie's expression didn't change much from my words. They were in the same unsurprised, dull setting from earlier when we mentioned her mother.

"She passed away from an aneurysm two months ago," her words were plain almost as if she's explained this to too many people. Almost as if she was tired of hearing that sentence fall off her lips. She was just tired of all the mechanical explanations and responses, and it was so easy to tell.

My smile was subtle, but there trying my best to comfort her. "It's hard to lose someone you love. I could never understand a fraction of what your feeling, but my parents were never around much growing up. I know what it feels like having a vacant hole torn in your heart. You're not alone in your pain."

Her face didn't change much, but there was gleam in her eyes, a sort of glow almost so subtle if you weren't looking at it close enough.

Valerie popped a small smile at my response pulling a strand behind her ear. "I get so tired of people saying "I'm sorry for your lost" or anything so dry and bland. They start feeling more insincere and less truthful. It's almost like they are forced to say those words when you hear about a tragedy. People take anyway the sincerity and sadness in the situation with their repetitive and dull responses. It's like they take away the real weight of the situation at hand — the weight that a life is lost."

We both paused. "Maybe people said that in the moments they're left speechless."

"Being speechless is better than continuous robotic responses sometimes. I don't know. I just think that silence is sometimes the best atmosphere for mourning to grow. It's respectful in a sense. Small talk just seems to take away the powerful loss."

I nodded my head. "I'll take your word on that."

"What grade are you in?" I tried shifting the conversation.

"Junior, but I've been taking online school this school year. Mariella says that I should go back to public school to live out 'a normal teen experience', but I'm not sure that my life could become the standard teen experience anymore."

"How come?"

She stayed quiet, being as she was holding in a piece of information she didn't feel like necessarily sharing. She gave me a grimace, "Things are just different now. Everything, really, is just different now." Valerie noticed my silence and took it as a gesture to continue. "It's kind of like I've been living my life, but not really living it. It was as if I was watching a movie of my life instead of feeling it."