Dark mind

Broken and Missunderstood

"I made you laugh. I missed that sound, the sound of you easing your tensions for at least a fraction of a second." She said softly.

He looked at her with his eyes full of brotherly love. He extended his arms wide and Maddy gladly accepted the invitation, walking into his embrace.

"Why don't you go take a walk? Outside of these walls. Its been a while since you breathed air that doesn't come out of machines." He told her and she instantly shook her head no against his shoulder.

"I can't." She said and pulled away from him. They sat on the sofa, next to the window.

"I can't bear to leave her side." She said, stating at Juniper. J looked peaceful, as if she were asleep. Her bruises were healing but she was still attached to all of those machines that helped her function. Without them, she'd be gone.

"I know you can't, I feel the same way. It's like, even if there's nothing we can do I just want to stay beside her." Tyler said quietly.

"What do you think is going on?" She asked, her words laced with double meaning.

"She's fighting him. She's trying to end the nightmare. He's not making it easy for her that's for sure. I can't even imagine the trauma she must be going through." He whispered and his red eyes became glossy.

They were quiet for a moment.

"This is all my fault." Madelane said.

"Maddy no it isin't ." Tyler said, his attention now on the auburn haired girl swimming in a pool of guilt.

"She's hanging on by a thread. And I can't stop repeating the night of her fall. I was just a step away from here, I could have avoided all this and-"

"Maddy, we already established this wasn't your fault." He insisted again, his tone soft as he took his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. She took a shaky breath and tears fell onto her cheeks. Since when was she so damn emotional?

"I could have done something, anything. She told me to watch her, but I took her request lightly instead of taking it to heart." Madelane said, shutting her eyes tightly.

"How could you have known this was going to happen? Maddy, you cant see into the future." He told her softly.

"Doesn't change a thing. It still happened, she's gone." Madelane said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"After I was born my father didn't want anymore children, not after seeing what I had grown into. I was really shy at school, didn't really talk to many people. When people did talk to me, it was to judge me. Everyone made it very damn clear that I wasent going to be accepted in they're society by being myself." She said bitterly. Tyler rubbed her shoulder in comfort. He hated seeing Maddy like this, and he wished he could kick the asses of the kids who cause her so much pain.

"They told me I was fat, but that no amount of excersise was going help my cause. Then I started binging, to maybe try and make them like me, to speed up the process and make myself look pretty. Once I started, I coudint-" she let out little gasps to keep herself from sobbing, her eyes never opening.

"Shhh, its okay. Its going to be okay." Tyler told her.

"I coudint stop." She whispered. "Every ounce of pain I made myself feel suddenly felt deserved."

"You don't deserve to feel pain, hell, not by your own hands ." Tyler told her gently as he rubbed her hair.

"That's the thing, I thought I didn't deserve it. But then I realized, hey maybe they're right. I mean, if the majority of people in society say you have to change who you are in order to fit in then the problem must be you. I wanted to punish myself for not being what everyone wanted and expected from me. Because if I had been that perfect person for them, they woudint hate me or judge me. I felt like the world was pinning the guilt on me because of who I was. But then I would end up questioning who was really proving a fair point: me or them. I coudint handle that. I dont know if you understand what im saying, im not making much sense." She said sheepishly.