Hard sometimes - Ruel Vincent Van Dijk

Six

Ruels POV

I looked at Eleanor sleeping. She looked so peaceful and perfect. I woke up like an hour ago, but staring at her was something I could've done all day. Our bodies were so close that my heart was literally melted by now, and I softly stroke her hair.

She was waking up and I quickly shut my eyes close before she could notice that I was staring at her.

Eleanors pov

I woke up to Ruel stroking my hair. It was the best thing in the world, I'll never get tired of this.

As I opened my eyes I could see Ruel quickly shut them, and I smile to myself. "I know that you were staring, Ruelio" I giggled using his nickname. He opens his eyes embarrassed. "Don't worry I think it was cute" I say and moves closer to him. He gets calmer and we just lay in bed cuddling.

"There's nothing that matters" I bluntly say and Ruel looks down at me. "What do you mean nothing matters?"

"My tattoo, instead of writing there's nothing that matters, I just crossed out the word matter." I felt like since we were so close now, it wouldn't hurt if I told him what the meaning behind my tattoo was. Especially since he even commented on my tattoo at the airplane.

"It means that I shouldn't stress or get stuck up about the small things, when they won't even matter in the future. It won't affect how my life will be in the future, I should take the chances that I get and don't think about how it'll end up" I say and I could feel Ruel smile. I smile too and he strokes me up and down my arm. "It used to be a bad trait of mine to stress about stupid things. It had a negative impact on my physical health, I was mentally sick and I was exhausted all the time, but I changed and got that tattoo so it would remind me of how I got through that kind of sickness" I just smile talking about it, I was so proud of myself and the tattoo was a big part of me.

"You're incredibly beautiful, inside and out, never giving up on the ones you love, even when you're exhausted by the world. I'm so proud of you" he say and kisses my head.

After a few minutes I felt like I really had to pee, so I tried to get up. "Hey, where do you think you're going?" Ruel asks and tries to hold me back. "I have to pee"

"Can't you pee later?" He asks and pout. "I can pee on you if that's what you want?" I grinned and he lets go of me.

I locked the door and peed. I finally got some time alone to think. What am I doing? Why am I leading him on like this? I don't deserve a heart like that. Why does it have to happen to me? Why me? There are girls all over the world drooling all over him, and the worst part is that they're all so freaking gorgeous. And he's with me. In my bed. This is stupid.

I walked out of the toilet and threw his clothes on him. He takes them and looks at me weirdly. "We better get ready for our shoot today" I say and grabbed some clothes. "Yeah, but that isn't before 4pm. We have a lot of free time until then" he say still laying in bed. Why can't he just take the fucking hint and leave.
Now I was just standing there trying to quickly get up with an excuse that'll make him leave.

"I'm meeting up with Luke to look over the pictures we took the other day" I say hesitantly.

"Oh" he said and he didn't really look convinced. He definitely knew now. I felt so bad. My hands were shaking and I couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Well, I better get going" he said trying to sound happy when I could see through it all. He was hurt because I showed him my cold side again, but I did this for him, for myself..

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It was 2 hours later and I went to the park alone to get some fresh air. It wasn't really cold, but it wasn't hot outside either so I had on a shirt with a skirt and a jacket matching my outfit, even though I didn't really feel like putting any effort in my outfit today.

I sat down on a bench and looked at all the people walking through the park.
I could see in the corner of my eye that an old lady sat down next to me with a small bag of dried bread pieces. She was throwing them out to the birds.

"Stai bene?" The old lady say and I turn to her.

"No capisco» i say because that's one of the few sentences that I actually know in Italian.
She looked away and started to throw out bread to the birds again. It was quite for a while until she turns back around.

"Is it a boyfriend?" She asks with an Italian accent.

"Uhm no" I laugh. "But there is someone you still care about very much, but you're afraid because you don't care enough for yourself and you think that is more important at this point in life." I don't know who this wise cute old lady was, but she talked like she could read my mind.

"I've lived for way too many years, and I've been through everything you can imagine" I look at her with curiosity written all over my face. "I don't know what you're talking about" I tried to laugh it off, but she just looked at me with serious eyes and I stopped laughing. "You May think that this is the way to go, this is what's best for both of you. But what do you really know? Loosing him isn't the best option either. Do you know what it means to be the one?" She asks and I shake my head .

"When you meet someone who is honest, honest with you and others, who willingly shares responsibility, who has an open mind, who makes it easy to feel grateful, who's someone that lets you cry in their arms, who wants to be there with you through the sad and happy moments, that's the person you can call the one"
The old lady, which is a stranger, grabs my hand and looks me deeply in the eyes. "Do not sit here and think everything will be fine when you get back, do not settle for second best. The guy also known as "the one" is out there wondering what he did wrong. Don't let him go through that" she looks at me with sympathy and her words made me want to run back and hug Ruel. I smiled at her and said thank you before heading back.

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