Guardian (Part I): Last Winter

Chapter 6: Ruth

Seeing Connor again was somewhat of an eye-opener for me. I had no way to properly describe how angry I was with him when we broke up, other than that I wanted to strangle him when I saw him on Idrasyll's beach. The thing is, I don't mean that. I loved Connor when we were together, but the last time we saw each other, he said something hurtful, and I couldn't handle it. That was a year ago, now. I had time to think. Maybe I was a little overreactive, but what he said gave me a real reason not to like him. I didn't hate him, but I still couldn't bring myself to even look at him, let alone speak to him. Since I saw him again, though, all I was able to sense from him was guilt. I knew guilt better than anyone. It was a powerful feeling that ate at someone from the inside, driving them insane. I had hoped that that guilt wouldn't make Connor do something he would regret, and since he was still alive, I guess I was right to hope for that. Since he was in Idrasyll, though, I began to wonder whether Xyhra sent me to assist defending the city from the Drowned, or to try and reconcile with him. She was wiser than most other people I've met since I became a Guardian. She would have sent me wherever I was needed, to whoever needed me. She would undoubtedly have known how I felt about Connor.

"So, Ruth," Morgan suddenly said. She was Connor's sister, who had always been a close friend of mine since I met Connor. I couldn't deny listening to what she had to say.

"I was wondering," she began. "If you and Connor were to get back together, and he was to apologize for what he said a year ago, what exactly would be your response?"

"Are you asking in his place, or are you actually curious?" I questioned.

"I'm actually curious," Morgan answered. "He was really hurt by you leaving him." I didn't trust myself to say anything in response to that. I was hurt by what Connor had said, after all, but Morgan was right.

"I would consider what he says by what words he uses and the tone of his voice," I said. "Then I would make the choice to forgive him or not."

"What if..."

"I can't speak to anything that happens after that," I interrupted. Morgan went silent for a moment, then spoke again.

"But you would be willing to give him a second chance?" she asked.

"Yes, I would," I sighed. "Why?"

"Like I said, I'm just curious," Morgan reminded. "I just hated seeing my brother the way he was after the two of you broke up. You both just seemed so happy together."

"Yeah, we were," I admitted. "So, what do you want me to do?"

"How do you know I want you to do anything?" Morgan wondered, and she walked off. I sensed a hint of deceit in the last words she spoke. She had a point to make, but hadn't made it. I knew what she meant for me to do, though. I only hoped none of the Regulars in the encampment would recognize my face when I approached Connor. I went back from the beach, seeing Connor speaking with a squad of Regulars behind the barricades. I barely heard what they were saying to each other, but I still hid myself behind a small dune of snow so I could hear when they were dispersing. Once I couldn't hear anyone's voice, I poked my head over the pile of snow, seeing Connor holding a piece of paper in his hands. I could instantly tell what it was from the look on his face. It was the dossier of a monster to kill nearby, from Commander Jonas, probably. I ducked back behind the pile of snow, took a deep breath, then went out to approach Connor. I walked as quietly as I could through the snow, peeking over his shoulder to see what kind of monster he had been ordered to hunt and kill.

"Wow," I whispered. It was a Shadow of the Abyss. They had served as some of the main Generals in the Dark One's army during the war, and from what I could tell, they were very similar to the Guardians, but used darkness for the source of their power instead of light. I had never fought one, and had hoped never to fight one, but I knew Connor better than anyone else. He was going to fight them, so I was going with him.