Playboy

Trente-Sept

RATED M FOR MATURE THEMES (AGAIN, NOTHING THAT EXPLICIT)

Eunji

It was just past midnight when Eunji awoke to find Baekhyun's face centimeters from hers. His hair was in his eyes and his boyish features were so relaxed as he slept. There was a slight whistle in his breathing accompanied by the occasional uninteligible murmur. He was so adorable like this, so peaceful. It reminded her of how he looked when she first met him. Recently, he just seemed stressed and upset about absolutely everything. Eunji couldn't help but feel that it was her fault. After all, this behaviour of his only begun after they had started dating.

She could tell that it was the relationship taking a toll on Baekhyun. He seemed so worried about keeping Eunji entertained or having Sehun at arm's length away. The way he went about it, it seemed to Eunji as if Baekhyun thought he needed to run the relationship on his own. It wasn't like he was unpleasant or terrible, in fact he was a great boyfriend. He was always buying Eunji gifts and surprising her with home cooked meals. He took her on cute dates like picnics in the park or watching the sun set. Baekhyun would even pamper her at home giving her massages and opening the shop up in her place so she could sleep in. He was the perfect boyfriend in theory, but there was just something missing.

What was it that just didn't click with Baekhyun? He was so sweet, so cute, so perfect. Everything in Eunji told her that she should love him. Honestly, he was everything Eunji could have asked for--especially after being hurt like she had been. There was something in her heart, though, that was stopping her from accepting Baekhyun fully.

As Eunji stared at Baekhyun's serene features, she pondered this inability to love Baekhyun. Sure, she liked him in a romantic way, but it was missing that spark of love. She began to think about what had made it click with Sehun. Sehun had been just as sweet as Baekhyun, however a little rough around the edges. Baekhyun did everything Sehun had done for her and more, so what was missing? No matter how hard Eunji analyzed, she just couldn't figure out why she couldn't love Baekhyun as she had loved Sehun. She lined up everything in both relationships, and there weren't many discrepencies. Suddenly, she stopped what she was doing and stared at Baekhyun's sleeping for with wide eyes.

She still loved Sehun. The reason she couldn't love Baekhyun was because she was still in love with Sehun. She hadn't let go of him yet, and no amount of Baekhyun's doting could change that. Everything that Baekhyun did, Eunji would compare with what Sehun had done. Eunji had started dating Baekhyun to forget Sehun and even thought it was working, but she was just kidding herself and Baekhyun. It wasn't fair to him, and she knew it.

"What are you doing up?" Baekhyun murmurred, his eyes half open.

"Just thinking," Eunji managed to croak.

"Don't think too hard or you'll get wrinkles," Baekhyun teased, moving forward to kiss the space between her eyebrows. He continued to shower her face with kisses, reaching to pull her closer.

Baekhyun's lips found Eunji's and held them in a deep kiss. Eunji would be lying if she said she didn't love kissing Baekhyun, but with her recent revelation it didn't feel right. Baekhyun kissed Eunji feverishly, somehow managing to sit up and shift her so that she was sitting in his lap. Eunji wasn't quite sure what he was doing, but also couldn't find it in herself to stop him.

Eunji could almost feel Baekhyun pleading with his lips; for what, though, she wasn't sure. His hands rested on her waist, holding her in place on his lap. One of his hands left to pull up the hem of Eunji's shirt slowly, almost asking. Eunji knew it wasn't right, but she didn't want to stop. She nodded at him in conformation, and Baekhyun peeled her shirt off of her body. For a moment, he just marveled at her topless body before pulling her head back down to kiss him again.

Baekhyun's hands began to venture around her body, timid yet adventurous. Eunji didn't hate the touch, but it was nothing like it had been with Sehun. Where Sehun's fingers had left trails of ice on her body, Baekhyun's left a lukewarm feeling on her skin. As she kissed him, she noticed how he wasn't as gentle as Sehun had been. Baekhyun wasn't being rough, but Sehun had made a point to make sure Eunji was comfortable with everything they were doing.

"Baekhyun," Eunji said, pushing back on his chest gently and pulling away from their kiss, "stop."

"Is something wrong? Did I hurt you?" Baekhyun immediately put his hands up, a worried look flashing through his features.

"No, it's not you." Eunji shook her head and shifted so she wasn't on his lap anymore.

"You don't want to?" Baekhyun asked timidly, clearly hurt.

"It's not that." Eunji shook her head again, suddenly feeling conscious of her bare body. "I really want to, Baekhyun, but I can't."

"Why not? Is everything okay?" Baekhyun asked. Of course he was worried, he was so sweet.

"It's not fair to you, Baekhyun." Eunji knawed on her lower lip, looking down at her hands in her lap.

"What do you mean?" Baekhyun's brow furrowed.

"I can't stop comparing everything you do to Sehun," Eunji admitted, "it's terrible and you don't deserve it."

"What can I do to be better than him?" Baekhyun asked, reaching forward to grab Eunji's hands in his.

"It's not a matter of one being better than the other, Baekhyun," Eunji sighed, "it's just...I don't know. Even in being intimate, I was comparing it to what it was like with Sehun."

"Give me a chance, then," Baekhyun pleaded, "let me show you that I can make you feel better than he ever did."

"No, Baekhyun," Eunji said firmly.

"Why not?" Baekhyun looked so hurt, it tore Eunji apart. She should have listened to Sunmi when she had the chance.

"Because..." Eunji paused. She knew there was no way around this. She had to tell Baekhyun. "Because I still love Sehun."