Losing My Way (A Brian May fanfiction)

Innuendo

So, I guess Diana technically didn't lie to me. We weren't seeing Queen play tonight.

But she still invited them to the gig with us, knowing I wanted nothing more than to stay away from them- well, mainly their guitarist.

"What are you... oh." The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, and a quick look back at Diana who was now locking lips with her blonde-haired loverboy told me everything I needed to know. I didn't see Freddie or John around...

This is a double date.

"You never called," Brian stated. He somehow looks even better than I remembered.

"I never said I would." I replied flatly, hoping to squander any hint of my absolute shock in seeing him here.

"Ouch."

The bartender returned then, holding two fresh glasses. His smile faded upon seeing Brian at my side.

"That'll be £11." He said more to Brian than I.

"Oh, right," I quickly produced the money from my purse and handed it to him.

After that, I headed back to our table with Brian in tow. Diana greeted me with a guilty smile as soon as we sat down. Brian took the seat next to me, which was far too close for my liking.

I focused on my drink, taking a large sip at first, before decided to down the entire thing in one go. I felt everyone's eyes on me when I slammed my empty glass down on the table.

"Thirsty?" Roger quipped. He seemed oblivious to the tension in the air.

"Yeah, mind getting me another?" I said almost sarcastically. I couldn't help but feel angry and betrayed at what Diana had done, and there was no use in pretending to be okay about it.

Roger wasted no time in shooting off to the bar to fetch some drinks for us all, leaving the three of us alone in an awkward silence.

"I'm going to the loo," Diana announced. "Will you come with me Nance?" Her eyes were flecked with worry.

"Oh, I dunno... do I really have a choice? You seem to like to make decisions for me." I snapped. The alcohol made it so easy to speak my mind, and I didn't feel the need to go hear her excuses in the bathroom.

Diana's eyes fell to the floor. "Well I'm still going." She pushed away from the table and beelined toward the lavatory.

After she left, I reconsidered my decision not to go with her, because now Brian and I are alone together- which is precisely what I didn't want. I drummed my fingers nervously on the tabletop, waiting for him to say something.

"I'm sorry, I guess I shouldn't have come." He said. I didn't want to look at him, I couldn't.

"It's not your fault," I felt a pang of guilt for being so rude to him before. "I just wasn't expecting to see you again after... that night."

"Right," he sucked in a breath. "I guess I had a different takeaway from that experience than you did."

My eyes were boring holes into my empty glass. I wish I could just simply vanish from existence. "Well it made my week pretty terrible."

"You regret it?"

I thought for a moment before saying- "I don't know... and that somehow makes it worse for me. I feel guilty for not regretting it as much as I should, which is why I honestly didn't want to see you again." My throat felt thick with emotion, and the honest words leaving my lips- words I had hardly been able to admit to myself the past few days.