Trying To Forget (A Law And Order: SVU Fanfic)

Chapter 25: Only Love Can Break Your Heart

Hi, I hope that you guys are well. Please make sure to check out my announcement. These next two chapters were supposed to be one but I decided to split them. This ends the flashback sequence and I couldn't not be happier :). Xxxxx

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"Havoc at the 16th precinct." Was what the newspaper had read the morning after the shooting. And while she had developed a distaste for the tabloids and their headlines, she couldn't argue with the fact that this time it was a fitting title.

In the end, five people were dead, four of whom had been murdered by a teenaged girl who was then killed by her partner.

With those many deaths, they had expected it to be a big deal in the city and maybe even in the tri-state area, but nothing could prepare them for the international media frenzy that stormed them. When she pulled up for work later in the day she could barely get in the building without reporters shoving microphones in her faces with every step she took. The attention stirred up an additional air of annoyance around the precinct because while the Brass in their glittering gold and death blacks commended the bravery of the squad, especially one Elliot Stabler to the media, behind closed doors and away from the flash, the Chief laid into them mercilessly.

It came hours after that the initial press conference, when the Chief had returned and summoned the offending staff to one of the interrogation rooms. She stood beside Elliot at the corner of the packed room and watched his facial expression darkened and his body tensed with every passing second of the Chief's speech. Before she could even comprehend her own movements, she grabbed his arm as he lunged forward, ready to snarl at their superior. It had been the first time in three weeks since they touched and they both froze in acknowledgement.

It was an innocent and largely unnoticed reflex that just days before would have meant absolutely nothing at all but now it meant the world. The weight of their new reality was glaringly obvious in his darkened eyes as he silently pulled his hand from her grasp. In that moment, she was unable to fathom the fact that things had shifted so drastically in such a short period of time. So as he settled back against the far wall of the bullpen and folded his arms tightly across his chest in an attempt at quick resolve, she too attempted to hide the grief that she knew had to be plastered on her face.

To her left, Fin's phone rang for the 2nd time in as many minutes, jolting her out of her thoughts.

She hadn't been very efficient at all today but in the bustling room that she presently found herself stagnant in, she was sure that no one had noticed her intermittent daydreams and the lack of files in her output, definitely not Elliot.

There had been an abnormal peak in the reports within the last 3 days in the unit and this meant that all available hands were busier than ever, that was expected for her and Elliot. Because even though the media attention had died down, the after effects left Elliot and by extension her an inoperable force. So much so that they were forced to remain within the walls of the precinct finishing off any pending cases at their desks. It seemed almost poetic that they were currently stuck in this situation, left sitting almost at the centre of the room, stagnant as their colleagues bustle around them. The situation had not yet ceased to torment them both.

Elliot had been initially maddened by their grounding and resorted to fruitlessly airing his grievances to the Captain day after day until one day he just stopped. His radio silence quickly spread to her with the only words directed in her direction being specifically about work and even then he barely looked her way. She felt invisible except for the times when a file that he needed was attached to her hand.

She hated the fact that when her mind raced back to that night, it firstly stopped on his silhouette leaving her bedroom and not on the travesty that had occurred just hours earlier. It spoke volumes of the pure and utter devastation that it had been to finally bare herself to him in body and in heart, only to have him stand there all stoned-faced as if she had dreamt up the last decade in a lust-filled fantasy.